


You'll probably go to Heaven

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, BAMF Loki, Future Character Death, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki is a fuck-up, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unhealthy Relationships, Villain Loki, Villain Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki can't help himself. He has to take what he can; money, assets, whatever. His quick tongue and adaptability can take him far, but he may have bitten off more than he can chew when he sets his sights on Tony Stark and the complexities of Stark Industries. As it turns out, he's not the only person preying on Tony Stark, nor is Tony himself his usual naive victim.</p><p>Set from pre-IM to IM2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> There's a distinct lacking of villain!Loki in human AUs. This needs to be rectified.
> 
> This story is going to be a definite five parts and the first two parts are setting the scene for the next two, which set the scene for the last and most dramatic chapter. Trust me, this first chapter is the most dull by far. I've written the first four parts already and will post them every few days.
> 
> For those of you who miss my psychopath Loki.
> 
> Warning: does contain major character injury, violence, minor character death. Also contains some mistreatment of disabilities and epilepsy, so if that will bother you, then keep moving. I don't want to make anyone unhappy.

_February_

It's a nice February morning when Loki Laufeyson sets foot in Stark Industries for the first time. The tail end of winter, but it's a Californian winter, and the day is mild.

This isn't Loki's first interaction with Stark Industries, though. He's been negotiating with them for months, trying to find a way to lose Laufeyson Technological Solutions - his blood-sweat-and-tears startup weapons technology company that had been making Stark Industries look a little stupid - and still come out the winner.

Loki's managed it, though; not only is he getting enough money to make into a big pile and roll around on, enough to satisfy him, but he's getting a job at Stark Industries. A big one, in fact; he's heading up R&D, a fact that hasn't endeared him to the eight other candidates for the job that actually work at Stark Industries and should've been given precedence.

Fuck them. Loki doesn't even care about the job very much, but it is a foot in the door into Stark Industries and a great way to get into close contact with Tony Stark.

In any case, Loki's appointment with Tony Stark himself was over half an hour ago, or it was supposed to be, anyway. Loki's sitting in the waiting room, briefcase in his lap and a air of cool calmness around him, when a professional yet sweet voice says "Mr Laufeyson?"

Loki lifts his head, his business smile sliding neatly into place to match the one given to him by the red-haired woman in the tidy suit. "That's me."

"My name is Pepper Potts," she says, leaning forward and offering her hand. Loki gets to his feet and shakes it. "I'm Tony Stark's personal assistant."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Loki says. He knows he sounds like a suck-up, but in his defense, he's sucking up. Good to make a charming first impression.

"And you," Pepper says. "I'm sorry, Mr Laufeyson-"

"Loki, please," Loki replies.

"I'm sorry, Loki. Mr Stark isn't taking any more interviews today," Pepper says. "He's no longer in the office."

Tempted as he is to curse, Loki keeps a level face. "Can I not visit him anyway? Where is he?"

"He had another engagement," Pepper says, and Loki can tell by the expression on her face that wherever Tony Stark is, she doesn't approve.

"Is there any possibility I could see him today? I'm afraid I'm rather busy," Loki says.

Pepper thinks about that for a moment. "He doesn't come into the office as much as he probably should, so I can't guarantee an interview with him for some time. However, I have the same powers he does and I was going to sit in on your interview anyway, so I might conduct the interview tomorrow morning at-" she consults the diary she's carrying. "Eleven, if that suits you."

"It does, thank you," Loki says, slipping his jacket back on and preparing to leave.

"And Loki?" Pepper says. "He's throwing an afternoon party at his house, if you'd like to informally meet him now, though I can't guarantee anything."

"Thank you," Loki repeats.

If Loki plays his cards right, this could work out even better. He just needs to win Tony Stark's attention, straight off the bat, and not his displeasure.

-O.O-

Loki makes a quick stopover at his hotel room to throw his briefcase on his bed, leave his suit jacket behind and discard his emerald silk tie. Turning up at a party in full business gear is opening himself to mockery; good first impressions are even more key when dealing with Tony Stark. He's famous for the fact that most people barely make it through his first impression to be appraised for a second.

As he makes his way back to his rental car, he undoes his top few buttons and rolls his sleeves up.

It isn't hard to find Tony Stark's house. He posted an open invitation on quite a few websites and the house is the size of a small castle, lit up with spotlights. Parking is scarce, so Loki abandons his rental at the base of the driveway and walks up to the house. Guests are arriving around him all the time; it isn't like he's going to be noticed unless he wants to be.

The house is modernistic and fairly empty, more like a museum than a home, or it would be when it isn't filled with people in various states of intoxication. One of those people has to be Stark; it's just a matter of finding him.

The action seems to be centred around both the bar - with a professional barkeep serving drinks to girls admiring how he could pour trick shots - and around the pool. Loki picks the latter.

As he expected, Stark is sitting in the water with a group of scantily clad people of indeterminate gender, drinking some form of alcohol and laughing at something someone had said.

Tony's mid-story. "So there I am, carrying four champagne flutes in one hand and a basketball in the other-"

Loki doesn't listen to the rest; he didn't bring anything to swim in, but being in his underwear won't be an outlier amidst the group in the pool. He strips off and slips into the water next to Stark, who stops in the middle of his sentence to look Loki over.

It isn't wrong for Loki to assume that Tony does this to every newcomer; the man wants someone in his bed by the end of the night, and he usually begins the seduction somewhat early.

"And hello, I haven't met this guy," Tony says, turning his charming smile onto Loki. He really is attractive.

"Loki," Loki replies. "And you must be the incomparable Mr Stark."

Saying something blandly friendly works on Pepper, but Loki's smart enough to know that only the zany catches Tony's attention.

"Loki. That's the guy who fucked a horse, right?" Tony quips.

Loki wants to grind his teeth, to give a succinct lecture on that particular piece of Norse mythology like he's done so many times, but instead he keeps his amused smile and says "No, I believe the horse fucked him."

And it's as simple as that; Loki's won the approval of the surrounding people, and more importantly, Tony's approval.

Tony just slaps him on the shoulder and hands him a glass of some mysterious alcohol before continuing with his story. It would seem like the end of their interactions if not for the way his eyes keep flicking to Loki as he talks.

-O.O-

Later, Tony's floating in the pool calmly as he relaxes. The pool's mostly empty as the chill set in and the water turned skin all wrinkly, but Tony's content just floating there.

"So. Lokes. Who're you?" Tony finally asks, realising Loki is still sitting there. "Model? Actor? Give me something."

"That's funny you should ask," Loki says. "Take a guess at where I came from before I arrived here."

"You walked right outta Heaven, babe," Tony grins at the cheesy pick-up line. "Please say you're gonna fall for that; I'm a bit drunk and I can't think of anything better."

Loki sincerely laughs at that. "Heaven, no. Pepper Pott's office, yes."

Tony sits bolt upright at that. "What? Are you a spy? If so, you've already blown your own cover."

"Not quite. I'm most likely the new head of R&D at your company," Loki says smugly, curious about Tony's reaction.

"Oh. At least Pep picked a looker."

"So you're looking forward to being my boss?" Loki asks sweetly, knowing full well how Tony could manipulate that into innuendo.

Tony's eyes slide up and down his body with a complete lack of subtlety. "I look forward to you being directly below me."

Loki had been expecting it, but he hadn't been expecting the extent of Tony's interest in him. It's usable, very much so. He leans forward a little, moving into Tony's personal space. "And I look forward to you being directly above me," he purrs. "In a purely professional capacity, of course."

"You're killing my buzz here, pretty boy. Either get in my bed or out of my house," Tony tells him.

"No, I quite like it here," Loki says. "The view's better than at my hotel."

"You sure Pep won't slam me for sexually harrassing her new pet?" Tony asks.

"Technically, no, because I don't work for you yet," Loki says. It sounds like he's going to get better than in Tony's good books; he's getting into his little black book.

"Works for me. JARVIS, cover for me. Lokes, follow."

-O.O-

About twenty minutes later, Loki's sopping wet boxers are discarded on the floor of Tony's bedroom. This isn't a concern for either of them as Tony fucks roughly into Loki, sucking a bruise on his neck as Loki cries out in pleasure.

Loki takes charge, tightening his thighs around Tony's hips and rolling them over, taking Tony's cock deeper into his ass with a groan. He wraps a hand around his own cock, jerking off quickly. Tony throws his head back and lets out a moan at the sight, then takes over from him, working Loki to orgasm. Loki comes, crying out and clenching his ass, bringing Tony over the edge with him.

The air conditioner clicks on as Loki pulls away, lying back on the other side of Tony's huge bed.

Things had started well, and as a plus, Tony Stark isn't hard on the eyes or bad in bed.

Loki's beginning to feel like this could be too easy.

-O.O-

Loki's an early riser, and he wakes up the next morning with plenty of time.

He wakes alone and in the dark, but as he rolls out of bed, the opaque windows turn transparent, giving Loki a startlingly clear view of the cliffs and ocean in front of Tony's house.

A voice starts speaking from the ceiling, telling him about the time, weather, transport options, etc, but Loki ignores it in favour of studying the voice itself. A brief conversation with the voice in the ceiling tells Loki that this is JARVIS, an artificial intelligence that runs Stark's life for him.

It's clever.

Loki's clothes have been cleaned and tidied while he slept, including his boxers, so he redresses himself and goes exploring. JARVIS warns Loki that Tony Stark is in the basement and that Loki is not allowed down there. A pity, because Loki had been so sure that the heart of Stark Industries lay in that basement. It'll come.

Once Loki has mapped as much of the house as possible, he leaves, retrieving his rental car and heading back to his hotel room. Not wanting to appear in the same clothes he was wearing yesterday, he showers, changes into his only other formal clothes and heads to Stark Industries. He has ass to kiss.

-O.O-

"How was Tony last night?" Pepper says kindly, gesturing for Loki to sit down.

"Very - how should I say this - _forward,"_ Loki chuckles. "He seemed to be enjoying himself."

"I'm sorry," Pepper says. "If he keeps it up, don't be shy about sexual harrassment charges. He could do with a reminder."

"I don't mind," Loki answers. "I've dealt with worse. I went to public high school."

"Well, it doesn't show," Pepper says. "Is everything about the merger in order on your end?"

"So long as my conditions are met," Loki says.

"That's what we're here for. Now, your credentials are in order. You're leapfrogging a lot of annoyed people to take this job; it's mostly been finalised, so we just need to talk logistics."

Loki's start-up group has been a serious threat to several weapons contracts that Stark Industries currently relies on as its main source of income. The solution? Buy Laufeyson Technological Solutions, obviously. Buy Loki, who won't go down cheaply; he's come out of it with a decent sum of money and the guarantee of preference for the job of Head Engineer at Stark Industries since the previous person had retired.

This has lead Loki to implement a plan, and that's going well.

The interview's a formality, really, but it's still annoying that Stark has skipped it, even if the man's tongue is very skilled.

"...And I'm hoping you'll be able to develop a rapport with Tony, unlike the last guy, who found him unworkable. Having someone in contact with Tony while he works would make things a lot easier around here," Pepper says conclusively. "I'll get JARVIS to give you up to my level of security clearance. Have you met JARVIS?"

"Oh, yes. It's a very impressive piece of technology," Loki says.

"Do you have somewhere permanent to stay yet?"

"I'm working on it. There's a bach I was looking at only ten minutes' walk from here; the rent is somewhat expensive, but it is close, which is convenient," Loki says absently as he packs his things up. Quick and painless.

"Good. I'll get someone from engineering to show you around," Pepper says.

Loki stops and looked her over thoughtfully. "What would Tony Stark do without you, Miss Potts?"

"I shudder to think," Pepper says, smiling clinically before digging out her phone to call someone.

Pondering that, Loki mentally notes it down.

-O.O-

Loki spends the afternoon learning the ropes of his new job. He can easily handle it; it's just like what he was doing in his own company, except now he doesn't have to worry about the entire rest of the company. Poring over designs and arranging patent licences could be so much worse.

Probably the most important person Loki meets is one Obadiah Stane. Loki hates him from the moment they first speak, can tell just by looking at him that he's powerhungry and controlling. They shake hands and smile anyway. Loki reads a returned dislike in Obie's eyes, so hey, at least they're even.

He gets the bach, settles in and sees little more of Tony for the rest of the week.

The fact that they fucked doesn't bother Loki in the slightest. If he were to feel awkward around everyone he slept with, then he never would've turned up for company meetings at LTS. In fact, it's a foot in the door into later conversations, sort of. That's unless Tony really is determined to never speak to him again, but he made Tony laugh, so he's doubting that's the case.

When his new secretary tells him he needs to meet with Stark, he postpones two meetings so he can attend to it that afternoon. Everyone seems to understand; working for Tony Stark sure is exciting until you get to know him.

He makes it to Tony's house quickly. On entering, apart from a greeting by JARVIS, the house seems motionless, the fountain's tinkling being the main movement. Loki's not fooled; he slips right past the fountain and down the stairs to Tony's workshop where he can hear some rather intense bass.

The vibrations on the the thick glass matches the pounding of the drums from Tony's music, and attempts to catch Tony's attention fail miserably. It doesn't take him long to sweet-talk JARVIS and gain entry that way.

Loki wants to make an entrance that'll continue his streak of good impressions. Which is why he sneaks up on Tony, hidden by the chorus of _White Wedding,_ and runs his hand smoothly up Tony's bare arm.

Tony flinches violently and drops his pencil, then realises it's Loki and grins.

When he's turned off the music, Loki just returns the smile and says "Hello, darling. I got the job."

"Mark the romance down as officially dead. You're just going to be another Pepper now," Tony snarks, spinning on his chair to look at him.

"I don't fill out a dress quite as nicely," Loki counters, dropping a file on Tony's desk.

"Nah, you don't have the hips for it," Tony says. "I need a better nickname for you. Lokes is bland."

"Lokes sounds like my name, so at least it's apt."

"I don't really care. I'm thinking something to do with your height," Tony says, examining him more sceptically.

"That's odd, because the other children called me 'Tiny' at school. In my defence, I had a late growth spurt," Loki says right back again. Keeping the banter is easy and Tony seems to enjoy it. "The order was sent down the line for me to look over the pieces you want patented before you submit the designs. Throw them at me."

"Business time, huh? I have them around here somewhere-" What follows is a thorough rootling around the workshop on the trail of Tony's elusive designs. Once they're found, Loki rather enjoys Tony's explanations; whatever his reasons for being there, he can't deny that his admiration of Stark's work plays a part in them.

"You know, I like you. You're not a kiss-ass, kneeling at the feet of the almighty Tony. I can respect that," Tony says after a while. "Truth be told, with a mouth like yours, it's a pity you're not kneeling, but I'll take what I can get."

"Thank you, oh gracious master," Loki replies dryly.

So far, so good.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki just pushes. Not enough that anyone can really tell.

_February - April_

Loki ends up spending the whole afternoon at Tony's. If anyone asks, he couldn't leave.

In reality, he clears all the work out of the way rather quickly and then accepts the offer to take a drink.

He's not a fan of alcohol; reduced inhibitions don't appeal to a control freak like him. When Tony leaves the room, one of the many pot plants is subjected to his glass of scotch.

They socialise for a bit, confirm that now is not the time for another tryst, then Loki heads back to the office.

Over time, they shift into a pattern. Whenever Loki's work takes him to Tony's home - and it does so more and more often as Pepper realises how well they work together - they hang out, science and snark on their lips.

Pepper drops in occasionally, smiles when she sees them avidly discussing their latest idea.

Even if Loki's paperwork is piling up a little, Pepper's happy to have him around; he eases the communication between Tony and Stark Industries and she's having to come out to Tony's house a lot less often.

The first time Loki starts to push Tony, it's subtle. Pepper just made a comment about how Tony wouldn't be able to dress himself without her on her way out, and Loki says "Is she always so dismissive of your abilities?"

"Nah, she didn't mean it like that," Tony chuckles dismissively. "We have a thing. I push, she pushes back."

But once Loki's no longer directly looking at him, he sees Tony look thoughtful in his periphery.

It's worth it. When Pepper makes a similar comment a few days later, Tony snaps back at her. She looks put off and snaps back. Once they've finished, they're both thoroughly pissed, and lo, it's Loki to the rescue, soothing Tony and telling him he was in the right.

He doesn't do it every time, just every once while. Makes Tony question his friendship with Pepper, how much he actually benefits from it.

It doesn't take Loki long to realise that Tony has four main contacts with the wider world: Pepper, Obie, a Colonel James Rhodes, and his one-night stands.

He's working on Pepper. The latter practically solves itself; when Loki's present at one of his roughly biweekly visits to Tony's house Tony dismisses him, says he wants to go out and find some girl to immerse himself in, literally.

Loki stretches out on the couch. "What am I, chopped liver?"

"Sorry, babe," Tony shrugs. "I don't sleep with the same guy twice."

"You really think I'm going to demand we marry, just because your cock has been in the general vicinity of my ass?" Loki chuckled. "Don't flatter yourself."

That settles it for Tony. He moves from his wheelie chair to where Loki is sitting on a bench nonchalantly, and, well. Table sex is fun, even with the spanner that's digging into Loki's shoulder.

Because that's the weakness Loki can use. Tony's got social issues, abandonment issues, and these tend to manifest into a strange attitude towards going out. He enjoys it on the surface and yet somehow he hates it, feels cold inside. Loki's willing to feed that feeling, lets him stay in where he feels safe, if empty.

Tony always seems to feel a little empty; his smiles don't last as long as they should, and his arrogance really is only skin deep. People who aren't certain in themselves are often so easy to jerk around.

Loki almost feels bad about taking advantage of him.

Almost, but not quite. He's not stupid.

He encourages Tony even more when Tony's supposed to attend a fundraiser ball as the envoy of Stark Industries. They've donated over a hundred thousand dollars to the cause - whatever it is - and Tony's really supposed to be there.

But he's having a bad night, when Pepper sends Loki over to check on him. He's a little drunk and he hasn't slept for two days.

Convincing him to let Loki go in his stead is like clubbing a baby seal.

Pepper praises Loki for his helpfulness when he attends instead, smiling and charming folks and guilting them into donating.

Later, Pepper and Loki are sharing a drink out on the balcony. Pepper's tetchily telling Loki about what an ass Tony's been recently, and Loki makes sympathetic noises, promises to talk to him and tell him to knock it off.

Loki doesn't actually intend to work directly against Colonel Rhodes, or Rhodey as Tony calls him. Rhodes doesn't have as much of a hand in Tony's day to day life or in the running of Stark Industries; this means he's just not as much of a threat to Loki as anyone else.

His relationship with Tony is different too; they're friends, above anything else. Pepper knows Tony because of her work and Obie knows Tony through work and family. Rhodey has never been anything of the sort.

Sure, they work together, technically; Rhodey's the bridge between Stark Industries and the military. But it's not the same.

Loki doesn't need to force a wedge between Rhodey and Tony. Tony will make one himself as Loki encourages to not let anyone treat him like he's weak.

The issue there, of course, is that Tony _is_ weak at the moment and Tony's friends all behave like this towards him as part of their efforts to take care of him.

Basically, Loki just needs to convince Tony that he doesn't need anyone. Except Loki himself, of course, because otherwise it'd be a huge waste of effort, to say the least. This isn't a self-help course.

Obie's a tricky job, because really, Tony trusts him. He's a surrogate father in many ways, having cared for Tony when Howard didn't - which was often - and it's easy to see why, because now Obie's practically heading up the company and he's in Tony's good books. He's manipulative, Loki can smell it, and he also knows very well that Obie will prove to be a formidable enemy.

They've faced off a few times, veiled threats hidden behind playful corporate banter, but this time they're more vicious. Loki knew that of everyone, it was by far the most likely that Obie would see through him, and he was right.

Obie's deadly calm, staring him down in an empty meeting room.

"I know what you're doing, Loki," he says evenly. "You think you can push me out of the way and take Tony the Golden Goose for yourself. But trust me, I won't allow that."

Loki just feigns confusion and nonchalance. "Tony's my friend, Obadiah," he says coolly. "I'm trying to protect him from people that treat him as cruelly as you do."

He knows he doesn't fool Obie, but that isn't the point. The point is that Obie's recording the conversation in hopes of raking up something incriminating, and he doesn't have anything.

Loki also knows he has to step up his game, get some solid evidence against Obie as insurance. It takes him a surprisingly short time once he gives in, sits down and manually hacks Obie's computer at three in the morning. Thank you, Pepper, for giving him such a high security clearance.

Loki's hoping for some mysteriously vanishing funds, maybe a little bit of corporate treason. What he isn't expecting is logs and histories of Obie's contacts in the Middle East, people buying brand spanking new Stark weapons off him. He copies it all onto an external hard drive, and convinces JARVIS to not say anything. This is beyond blackmail; it's almost hilarious how easy it is.

During his next confrontation with Obie, Loki hints so subtly that he knows about all of it. He sees Obie's eyes subtly darken with anger before he excuses himself, his smile so sugary sweet.

He watches his back a little more from then on. He's half expecting assassins or something similar.

Unfortunately, he needs Tony to trust him more before he can reveal his evidence of Obie's wrongdoing, but it shouldn't take long, because Tony's slowly withdrawing from the wider world. He doesn't leave his house often and the only person he talks to at length is Loki, and that doesn't help, because Loki's pulling his strings.

Pepper's worried about him. She actually assigns someone to take over some of Loki's work at Stark Industries so Loki can spend a little more time with Tony. This suits Loki perfectly.

Tony's depressed and he doesn't even realise why, doesn't realise that spending time with Loki is making him worse, not better. Loki's mastered subtlety like that.

He and Pepper make a plan to cheer Tony up by taking him to a club. Tony has fun, or so it seems, but he seems to stick a little close to Loki, defers to him in conversation. It's a pleasure to see - at least for Loki - because Tony really can't shake off his need to let Loki take over in public.

It's April 21st, and it's only taken a month and a half to get to this point.

Breaking Tony was easy, because he was already cracked and chipped.

It's late - or early, depending on opinion - when Tony wants to go home. Despite the flirting he's been immersed in with several other patrons of the club, he doesn't want to take any of them home.

Loki ends up spending the night at Tony's house, the two of them curled on the couch, Tony clinging to Loki like a lifeline. It's a pity the line isn't connected to safe ground.

In the morning, when Tony's throwing up and Loki's standing there with a glass of water on hand, Tony chokes out _"Please_ don't leave-"

"I won't," Loki murmurs, crouching so he can run his hands through Tony's filthy hair. "That much I can promise you."

He's entirely honest, too.

After Tony's emptied his stomach, Loki gently teases his clothes off him and accompanies him into the shower, cleaning him up. It says something about how nasty Tony feels that he doesn't try and cop a feel or crack a joke or _anything_.

The guilt Loki feels surprises him. It's an emotion he's quite alien to, and he thought that this would be yet another thing he just wouldn't care about. But killing someone is one thing, and tearing them down like Loki has is another.

He resolves to make Tony a little happier. This program begins with a drive down the coast in one of Tony's convertibles. Then they come home and design things that explode.

Loki's always found designing weapons to be a peaceful occupation. The irony doesn't escape him.

When he gets to work - he didn't mean that he literally wouldn't leave Tony in his day-to-day movements - and settles down to clear his backlog, Pepper drops in to visit and asks him how the previous night went.

"Well enough," Loki says thoughtfully. "He did seem to be enjoying himself, but when we got home, his mirth seemed to vanish somewhat."

Pepper sighs and bites her lip. It's hard caring about someone like Tony.

They chat wanderingly about life and work until Pepper works up the courage to ask Loki if he's involved with Tony.

 _Involved_ involved. She makes that clear without using the words _fuck, sex, tryst_ or _affair_ and amuses Loki in the process.

Loki makes her wait as he ponders what to say, looking her over in way so calculatingly it has to make her uncomfortable. "Yes," he finally admits. "A few times."

 _Few_ isn't enough. _Several,_ maybe. _Bunch_ sounds too informal.

"He cares about you a lot, you know," she tells him.

Loki half-smiles. "I do know, which is why his descent into melancholy is so painful to watch."

It didn't take Loki long to dissect Tony and Pepper's relationship. Antagonistic friends, yes, but there's an undercurrent of longing and sexual tension that he's been working on breaking down. Mostly, he's succeeded on Tony's end. On Pepper's, well, not quite. She's tough and Loki hasn't been working too hard on her.

"I know how you feel," Pepper says simply, smiling sadly and leaving. They both have work to do.

He has his next run-in with Obie only a few days later.

They're in Obie's office this time, Loki sitting in the visitor's chair with his feet up on the desk.

Obie drops a photo on the desk, forcing Loki to lean forward to look at it.

It's a surveillance footage still of Loki sitting in Obie's seat at his desk, timestamped for just after 3am.

"I know that you know, Loki," Obie says lowly in that unsettling way of his. "I have my own private surveillance in here. You thought you could trick me."

Loki can still play innocent and will. "I can't believe you're doing this to Tony, you monster," he growls from between bared teeth.

"Cut the crap, pretty boy. We both want the same thing and we're not willing to trust each other."

"You want to retire with a healthy bank balance too?" Loki says. "That dream is shared with all of America, Obie. I don't need to trust you to get that."

"You know what I mean, Loki."

Loki stands and slinks around behind Obie. It's unsettling, he knows; he's perfected this walk from the Bond girls.

"I _really-"_ he leans forward to whisper into Obie's ear. _"-don't."_

Obie doesn't react to Loki's faux-seduction aside from frowning.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Loki says, tugging his suit jacket into order and making for the door. "I have work to do. Try internet forums for your conspiracy theories; I've heard they go down well there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we move onto the really good stuff.  
> Up next, Afghanistan!


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Afghanistan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!  
> The next update probably won't be until Sunday, sorry.
> 
> Warnings for major injuries and a seizure.

_May 18th - August 18th_

Tony's supposed to be flying out to Kabul for a demonstration of his most recently released weapon. Loki knows all about it; he's the person who arranged it with Rhodey. But he doesn't want to go; Kabul is where Obie's been selling weapons to and he must have contacts there. It's harder for him to watch his back on foreign ground.

Unfortunately, the unhealthily dependent bond he's forged with Tony comes back to bite him in the ass: it quickly becomes clear to Pepper and Rhodey that Tony _really_ wants Loki to come, and they all but beg him to go, just so he'll be okay.

He can't say no without seeming out of character from his usual helpful self, so he and Tony arrive with the billionaire's characteristic lateness at his private plane. The drive up the coast in a convertible had been a little hairy.

Loki hates convertibles. Hates driving too, but it's a necessity. Fortunately, Tony loves it, so he'd taken the wheel.

He's not fond of flying, either, but it's hard to dislike Tony's jet, luxurious as it is. No cramped seats and suspicious food; he can smear himself out across the couch.

The only issue is that Rhodey's coming with them, and Loki hates having people get between him and Tony. But he'll survive.

"Hey, man," Tony says with an easy grin to Rhodey, who says something similar. "You and Lokes haven't actually met, have you? Rhodey, this is my head of R&D, Loki...Laufeyson?"

"You don't know his last name?" Rhodey chuckles. "He's practically been living with you for the last few weeks, Tony."

It kind of clicks for Loki right then. Tony actually knows absolutely nothing about him. This is good.

"We don't bother with last names," Loki says easily, covering his surprise and mild annoyance. "I think his is Smith."

Tony laughs at that. It's good to see him happy again.

The presentation goes well. With a few words of encouragement from Loki, Tony pulls off a rather convincing speech: Loki rather likes the part about the weapon you only have to fire once. That's followed by a display of the Jericho's power.

Loki loves the Jericho. Of all weapons he's had a hand in, it's probably one of the best. He's practically memorised the blueprint. It's a glory to see it in action; the shockwaves in themselves are enough to knock his bottle of water out of his hand.

Tony wants to call Obie, but Loki stops him. Every moment in Kabul so far has made him anxious; seeing Obie's face can only add to that.

For the trip back, Tony and Loki are in the same Humvee. Tony insisted that he went in it, despite Rhodey's protests, and then roped Loki into it too. Loki's not sure; he's still wary of Obie and a potential plot and this isn't the safest choice.

Tony seems oblivious, playing loud rock music and chatting cheerily to the soldiers in the Humvee with them. The one in the back seat with them takes a photo, excited to meet Tony. He's not particularly interested in Loki; after all, Loki's not exactly famous.

Loki's fears are proved all too correct when the first explosive hits. The car in front of them is gone in so much flame and shrapnel.

Immediately the atmosphere of camaraderie is shattered. The soldiers grab their guns, shouting orders as they dive from the car.

Loki and Tony are both ordered to get down and stay down. They both do so without a moment's hesitation.

"Obie," Loki snarls viciously.

"What?" Tony says in confusion.

"Obadiah _fucking_ Stane arranged this, Tony. He's the leak in your organisation!" Loki explains shortly.

"Wha-" Tony begins again, but he's interrupted as the windscreen shatters.

The soldier guarding him swears loudly as he dives from the car, yelling at them to stay where they are.

Tony protests for a second. Then he doesn't, because the soldier's just been killed and they were missed by millimetres by a hail of bullets.

Time seems to slow down as they realise how terrible the situation they're stuck in is. Staying in the car won't protect them. Soldiers are being gunned down around them.

They both pile out of the car, crouching to avoid another blast. It's good that they're wearing bulletproof jackets, but it's not enough. Where they are, they'll die.

Loki and Tony both run for the same place, a little outcrop of rocks. While Loki crouches, keeping his eyes on the action, Tony leans against a rock and yanks out his phone, looking for help from some quarter.

That's when the bombs lands.

It doesn't explode yet. It just beeps.

 **STARK INDUSTRIES** is proudly displayed along one side.

Loki scrambles backwards. "Obie, I'm going to fucking-"

He doesn't finish his sentence. The bomb blows.

Tony whites out briefly. When he comes back to himself, he's numb all over. He's been thrown a short distance.

He struggles to raise his head and looks over at Loki to see him crumpled and pathetic-looking in the sand. He's cracked his head on a rock badly and blood is leaking into the sand from the resulting gash. A lot of it.

As the shock of the blast wears off, he becomes aware of a blinding pain in his chest. He rips his shirt away, and even through the bulletproof vest, blood is leaking through onto his hands-

-O.O-

Tony only catches snatches of what happens after that. He swirls in and out of consciousness, only vaguely aware of where he is.

There's the clinking of metal, strange sensations in his chest, people screaming in foreign languages. In one snippet of awareness, he's being filmed. There are bright lights on him.

When he wakes up properly, the first thing he registers is the tube down his nose. He starts to remove it, only to find it's rather long.

He hears humming, and in his efforts to turn over and investigate the source, he knocks over several bottles. Something's tugging at his chest.

The humming stops. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," an accented voice says.

Which is how he finds out that he's got an electromagnet jammed in his chest. Even better, it's connected to a car battery.

According to the other person, a thin, tired-looking man, he's got shrapnel in his chest. He'll be dead within a week without the magnet.

Once Tony's had a moment to take that in, he manages to process how he got there. "Loki," he rasps.

"Hm?"

"Where's Loki?" Tony insists.

Yinsen gestures to Tony's side.

There's another cot there. Loki's just lying in it, unmoving. He looks rather dead.

"When the pair of you arrived, you seemed the far more difficult case," the man said. "But the magnet was a small matter compared to his head injury. I did what I could. I need x-rays, proper medical equipment to look after him. I don't have any."

"Is he gonna wake up?" Tony knows it's a childish question, but Loki's lying so still - sleeping people usually twitch a little, or something.

"I'm sorry," the man tells him. "I truly don't know. But he would have been very lucky to escape from such a blow without at least a cracked skull."

 _Obie did this,_ Loki had told him. Tony isn't sure what to think; on one hand, Obie's a family friend and they've known each other for years. On the other, Loki was panicked and didn't have time to make up a story while they were being shot at.

Not that it matters anymore. They're trapped in a stinking cave, and no doubt no one knows where they are.

It's once his eyes move off Loki that he notices the camera watching him.

The man just seems mildly amused. "That's right. Smile!"

It just gets better and better.

-O.O-

When Tony meets his captors, his stubbornness brings him pain, and a lot of it.

After he's been thoroughly waterboarded, he's dragged outside. He finds how many of his weapons they have, and he feels sick. It's too much.

Immediately after he's forced to agree to built the Jericho missile, he starts thinking of plans.

He doesn't know why, but despite the chaos, his head is clearer than it's been in months.

The man - Yinsen - actually gets through to Tony like no one else has. He's messed up, big time; his weapons aren't promoting peace. Selling the big stick is resulting in a lot of stab wounds.

He wonders what Loki would think. Then he tries to tell himself he doesn't care. He can make a decision without Loki. Once he mentions this, Yinsen asks about who Loki is to him, and Tony tells him about how Loki's been keeping him going recently. Now Tony needs to keep Loki safe. It's only fair.

So he gets to work. His first priority is to get rid of the car battery, replace it with something a little more portable.

He has a proper workshop built. Building the miniature arc reactor is a challenge he relishes, but it's so hard to concentrate when Loki's lifeless form is visible out of the corner of his eye.

They're doing what they can. Loki starts moving around a little more with time, and they've managed to get him semi-conscious enough to take a drink a couple of times. But he can't eat, can't keep food down. Even if the head injury doesn't kill him, starvation will.

Once the arc reactor is done, Tony starts work on his next big project.

Keeping time in the cave is hard, because Yinsen has no timekeepers and Tony's watch shattered in the blast, but Yinsen and Tony both agree it's been nearly two weeks when Loki wakes up properly.

He doesn't stay conscious long, but it doesn't matter. It's an improvement. As Yinsen's patient and Tony's friend, they're both over the moon to see him blinking and mumbling.

Over the next day or two, Loki comes back to himself. He's weak as a kitten, both from hunger and from his wound, so he's still bedbound, and his speech is slurred for some time.

There are only two cots in the little area of the cave they're trapped in, and not wanting to share with Yinsen and disliking the general air of blood and death around Loki, Tony had been nesting on the ground. Now he can share Loki's bed, which his aching muscles will thank him for.

Tony works steadily away on his plans as Loki gets better. Once he starts eating properly, he improves markedly.

One time, he's given some kind of boiled grain that Yinsen seems familiar with. Tony's curious to see what Loki will do; he's always thought of Loki as being rather prim and proper, too good for slop.

To his surprise, Loki digs his fingers into the gruel eagerly, forgoing any utensil in favour of eating quicker, and scoops it to his mouth, licking it off without a moment's notice.

Loki notices him staring and says "I ate a lot less and a lot worse than this as a child."

It's an offhand remark, said with a shrug, but for the first time Tony wonders where Loki came from. What schools he went to, where he grew up. It's somewhere in Britain, obviously, from that accent. He has a vague feeling Loki had his own tech company that got absorbed by Stark Industries, but he doesn't know what it was called, or when that happened.

When he's steadier on his feet, Loki helps Tony with his plans. He approves of the metal suit design, adding his own details that will hopefully make it more stable.

Their smaller injuries are healing, all the nicks and cuts from the bomb blast. Loki had several gashes across his chest and legs from flying shrapnel, and they heal faster now he's eating properly.

Yinsen keeps checking on Loki's head wound, and it's clear by his reaction that it's no laughing matter. "As you may have noticed, your skull is hardly compressing under my hands; a crack rather than a fracture, I think. My fear at this point is broken blood vessels too close to your brain," Yinsen tells him lowly.

"Fantastic," Loki says dryly.

It's not exactly convenient, considering the situation they're in.

They get working on Tony's plan immediately. Loki, previously a steady hand with a blowtorch, seems to have lost a sizeable chunk of his fine motor skills, so he plans while Tony does the hard stuff and Yinsen does the fine work.

As a decoy, they end up building the shell of a Jericho rocket. That way, all their work on fine electronics and whatnot seem so much more plausible.

In rest times, Tony and Loki talk, more than they ever have. It starts with Obie:

"Since we befriended each other, he's been acting rather strangely towards me. Territorial, perhaps," Loki tells him. "JARVIS and I did a little research and discovered his side business siphoning your weapons into the wrong hands. For profit, of course. This operation was with a group called the Ten Rings and was based in Kabul - hence why I'm all too certain that Obadiah is responsible for this."

Tony's willing to believe just about anything Loki says on the matter, which is good for Loki. "Okay, that's not cool. Why didn't you tell me?"

Loki has a lie on hand for that. "I doubted that you'd believe me over him. I've been around for a few months; he's been around nearly your entire life."

"Fair enough. Trust me, Lokes, I'm believing you now."

One little detail has convinced him thoroughly - Loki mentioning that this organisation is the Ten Rings. To the best of his knowledge, no one's told Loki that that's what they're called.

"Believe me on this, too, Tony; when we get home, there will be hell to pay for Obadiah Stane," Loki vows grimly.

-O.O-

It's been a long time - two months at least, probably more, though it's hard to tell. The suit is nearly done. Loki's been patchy - he's had migraines, thrown up repeatedly, been unable to sleep, then unable to wake. Sometimes he can't talk or move properly. Yinsen does all he can to help.

Raza, the leader of their captors, comes to visit, complete with dramatic lecture. Midway through his talk, he starts speaking in another language to Yinsen, who replies rapidly and worriedly.

Two people grab Yinsen and force him to his knees. Another two seize Loki by the shoulders.

Once hot coals are bandied about, it becomes clear that they're threatening Yinsen to encourage Tony, and considering killing Loki because he's half-dead anyway.

Tony successfully bargains for both. He tells them firmly that Yinsen's a good assistant, that Loki knows the plans for the Jericho much better than he does.

Thankfully, they believe him.

As they leave, Tony senses Loki behind him stiffening, and registers out of the corner of his eye that the man is shaking. He puts it down to nerves, at least until Yinsen sees him and pushes past Tony to check on his patient.

"Loki!" Yinsen calls. No response; now Tony can see that Loki's eyes are open and the irises are dancing around like green fire, but he doesn't seem to react at all. His mouth is moving slightly like he's trying to say something.

Yinsen examines him for a few seconds longer before he says "He is having a seizure. Help me lay him down."

Between the two of them, they get Loki in a cot and move all the objects away from him that he could hurt himself on.

It passes in just a couple of minutes, but it's scary. When Loki finally stops moving so spasmodically, he seems tired and out of it and doesn't really manage to say anything to either of them before he falls asleep. Yinsen says he's fine, but Tony's still worried. Loki needs real medical care.

It's tempting to put his work on hold to built an x-ray machine or something like that, but Tony knows even if he does manage to keep it subtle, it's too dangerous. They only have that night, and then Raza will expect something.

When Loki wakes up with a killer headache, Yinsen sits down, convinces him to sit up and carefully inspects the wound on the back of his head. The skin's healed surprisingly fast, but as Yinsen said, the skin damage was never really an issue; it's what's happening underneath.

"If your symptoms get worse, I may be forced to drill a hole in the back of your head. For drainage," Yinsen explains. "I would not do that now for risk of infection."

"That sounds unpleasant," Loki comments, as though talking about the weather forecast. It always amuses Tony how difficult it is to truly shock or scare Loki. Through the whole ordeal, he's been wary, calculating, but ultimately calm even in the face of his diagnosis and potential torture and death.

The more Tony thinks about it, the less he's seen Loki display genuine emotion. It always seems to be put on like make-up for a moment, then washed away when he has the chance.

Still, it adds up. Loki's always been very aware of what's going on around him, and if his comment about the boiled grain has been interpreted correctly, then he's had a rough childhood.

They work all night on the metal suit. Between the three of them, it's pretty much done, though Loki isn't much help because Tony doesn't trust him with a welding torch or even a spanner, considering how unsteady his hands are.

He finally does the helmet. He's been looking forward to it and it looks just as menacing as he's hoped.

Loki falls asleep on the floor as Yinsen and Tony finish up. Rousing him again takes a lot of nudging and cooing.

Tony thinks darkly that if they don't escape now, Loki's going to fall asleep again, and he's not going to wake up this time. It's as good a motivation as any. He's not going to let Loki die.

-O.O-

There's a terrible pain in Loki's head when he wakes up again. There's always a terrible pain in Loki's head these days, though, so Loki doesn't take it personally.

He forces himself to sit up, his bones feeling liquid and his hands shaky. His hands are always shaking.

He knows he has to stay awake; today is the day they escape and getting out is his only chance. For some reason, Obadiah's assassins haven't assassinated him, so he's not willing to die and do their job for them.

As much as he wants to help, he only manages to lean dazedly against the desk. Loki's having a bad day, and as such, he's disorientated and he wants to throw up. There's a faint ringing in his ears, one that feels like it hasn't quit since the bomb blew.

He watches Tony bandaging his hands as Yinsen winches the suit to a standing position. This is really happening; it seems strange that they're actually going to leave the cave. Loki's quite used to it.

Between the head injury and the whole cave situation, Loki's grip on Tony has weakened significantly. He's been in no mood for mind games, what with having his head smashed in, while Tony has been getting back to his roots as an engineer and refreshing himself. Getting back to the way things were will take a lot of effort.

Loki registers that Yinsen and Tony are going over the plan. If he knows anything, he knows that; he's said it to himself so many times that he knows it off by heart. He tells Tony this, which gets him a smile.

"Glad you're onto it, babe. You think you're feeling up to it?" Tony replies. Yinsen's busy strapping him into the suit. Everything seems well.

Loki nods. Hopefully, adrenaline will be enough to force him into action. Adrenaline and the large gun he plans to steal.

As they're nearly done, the sliding eye panel on the door opens and someone starts shouting in. Loki only understands the word 'Yinsen' but the meaning is pretty clear: _what the fuck are you doing?_

After a short exchange, they try and open the door. This activates the bomb, which completely destroys the door and the two men trying to go through it.

From here on time is precious. Loki activates the power sequence on their dilapidated computer, but the progress bar is moving so slowly. It's almost painful, knowing their lives could end because of a slow piece of hardware.

Yinsen finishes strapping Tony in as Loki watches the doorway. There are voices shouting and inevitably getting closer.

The progress bar is only half done.

"We need more time," Yinsen says. Loki couldn't agree more.

Yinsen picks up one of the dead guard's guns and runs out of the doorway. Tony starts shouting after him in concern, but Loki doesn't bother to stop him. He figured out Yinsen's little alteration to the plan a while ago. Instead he just helps himself to the other gun on the ground and checks that it's loaded and in working order. He knows weapons; they're kind of his thing.

The sounds of Yinsen shouting and firing have mostly faded by the time the computer is finished.

Loki hands Tony his helmet as they hear more guards approach. This should be good.

Tony sends the first one flying. The other three are taken down equally as efficiently, their bullets bouncing off the thick metal plating.

Understanding the risks, Loki just waits for Tony to clear the tunnel ahead before he moves on. It's dangerous up there, and Loki hasn't survived this much to be killed by a stray bullet. Especially not from a gun he designed himself.

Once things have quietened down, Loki follows. After a short walk - satisfyingly lined with unconscious, dead or very scared people - he comes to Tony and Yinsen having a heart-to-heart as Yinsen bleeds to death on a pile of sacks.

Loki just walks quietly up to them and bows his head in respect. Even for all the indifference he feels towards Yinsen, the man did try remarkably hard to keep him alive, and that's nice.

Yinsen's breathing gets momentarily more laboured. Then it stops.

Now Tony's pissed off.

"You okay, Lokes?" Tony says, all cold fire.

When Loki replies "I've never been better," Tony just flips his visor down, primes his flamethrower and makes for the doorway.

There are lots of bullets fired. Then the flamethrower is activated. The bullets stop.

Again, Loki waits until the carnage dies down before he makes a move.

Tony's scorched every crate, every container marked with Stark Industries. So many things are on fire. People are running away and screaming.

Loki loves every second. It's easy to ignore every symptom of his fractured brain when faced with such glorious chaos.

The next part of the plan is the one that Loki is most certain would get him killed. This was saying something compared to the other parts of the plan, which weren't exactly safe in themselves.

Armed people up on the sides of the canyon are shooting at Tony, and he doesn't really have a good way of reaching them. Instead, he retreats back to the cave mouth and meets up with Loki, who appreciates this, because walking quickly or running is probably beyond him these days.

"You ready to rock and roll?" Tony grins behind the visor, on a high from anger and destruction.

Loki is not, but he climbs onto the back of the metal suit anyway as Tony activates the leg thrusters.

They move upwards very fast. That, added with his already existing nausea, makes Loki close his eyes out of concern that he'll vomit into the metal suit.

After hitting the peak of a parabolic arc and starting to go down again, the fuel gives out. Tony's spent too much burning the weapons.

 _"If I die because of this I will haunt you, Tony Stark-"_ Loki shouts against the wind as they fall. The metal suit is falling apart, so Loki jumps off it in fear of being hit by a solid metal panel.

The sand's soft. Not soft enough to not hurt, but neither of them die. Loki rolls down a dune and passes out quite promptly, his head throbbing. Tony lasts a little longer in consciousness, lying in the middle of a pile of scrap, before he does the same.

-O.O-

Tony can't wake Loki.

He's still alive; his pulse is present, if a little weak. Unlike Tony's messed up arm, Loki doesn't even seem to be hurt. But he won't wake up.

It's the heat of the day and there's no shade or water. They have to keep moving. He resorts to shaking Loki, which Yinsen told him not to do, and while cruel, it does work to get Loki awake enough to move, even if it's not very quickly.

Wrapping their jackets around their heads helps to keep the sun off, but Loki's moving so slowly that Tony's half-tempted to leave him for the buzzards. If this place has buzzards. He doesn't know.

Eventually Loki stumbles and falls over in the sand, and he's too dizzy to get up again.

After all they've been through, it really will be a pity to die in the sand.

It seems pointless to leave Loki and keep walking, because they're not walking in any specific direction except for away and Loki will almost definitely die.

Instead, Tony tries to make a signal to helicopters whatnot. He finds what rocks he can and makes an arrow out of them. He spreads his and Loki's jackets out on the ground.

It's later when he hears the two helicopters. It's the best sound he's heard in his whole life, and he experiences a new breath of life as he shouts and calls to them. Loki manages consciousness again in all the noise and movement, and Tony crouches down and hugs him, then helps him stand as the helicopters land.

It's Rhodey. It's actually Rhodey. It's all Tony can do to stumble towards him, grinning and supporting Loki.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post the next chapter when it's done, so hopefully sometime this coming week.
> 
> Thanks for the support so far ^.^

_August 18th - unknown_

They end up in a hospital in Germany before they get back to America. Tony's just got a bad arm, dehydration, and bruises here and there, never mind the arc reactor, but once he describes Loki's head injury and his resulting side-effects to the doctor looking after them, the doctor gets two nurses and has Loki rushed away.

After that, everything passes in an anxious rush for Tony. Updating him on Loki's condition isn't the priority, no matter how much he complains, so he and Rhodey sit around and try to distract themselves. Various people from the CIA and NSA and every other acronymical organisation try to debrief him, but Tony's tired and he can't focus.

He receives only occasional updates on Loki's condition. First, that he'd had an MRI scan, and there was a large hematoma in his skull, just like Yinsen had suspected. Next, that Loki was being prepped for surgery some time later. And much, much later, after he's had a sleep and then a cup of coffee, and then given the statements he needs to give: Loki is stable. And apparently as healthy as he could be under the circumstances.

Tony wastes no time in going to see him. He's in post-op, and asleep. Tony's seen him unconscious so many times in the last three (it was three, after all; they'd been short on their estimate) months that it seems like nothing has changed.

Something has changed, in reality. The mass of loose blood pressing into Loki's brain and causing him to be so sick has been removed. He talks to Loki's doctor, and she tells him that the head injury burst several veins in his skull and caused this. They've patched up the veins - yes, they were actually poking around in Loki's skull not long ago - and they're hoping that with the excess blood removed, the veins will heal fully. The doctor tells Tony that Loki must be remarkably willful, because such an injury would have probably killed another person in the long term under the circumstances.

Tony dozes off as he waits for Loki to wake up. He wakes up just over an hour later to Loki petting his hair, twisting his fingers through strands and looking at them oddly.

There's a vague smell of vomit and sweat in the air. General anaesthetic isn't always easy.

"I hear they sucked your brain out through the back of your head," Tony says, his mouth moving before his brain can catch up.

"Not quite," Loki replies weakly. "They let me keep the good bits."

"We're going home soon," Tony tells him. "They're just waiting until you're stable enough, just in case the changing air pressure makes your head burst."

"That's rather unlikely," Loki says.

"Still. We're grounded here. Worst comes to worst, I think I can make us another metal suit to escape," Tony jokes.

Loki just smiles and closes his eyes again.

-O.O-

People start organising their return. One of the first things they find out from the California end of things is that Loki is homeless. Absent and therefore unable to pay his rent, they'd leased his home to someone else.

Loki's irritated, but Tony just tells him he can stay at his house.

"Too big for one person, anyway," Tony shrugs when Loki thanks him.

Little does Tony know that this is precisely the reason Loki didn't buy a house and rented one on a month by month basis. So everyone's happy. Loki can start rebuilding what he's lost.

Loki already feels markedly better, even if he's recovering from having a hole drilled in his head. His hands aren't shaking and for once he's not seeing double or hearing whining. He hopes it'll last.

It feels to him like he spent the last few months in a coma, or maybe a fever dream. He's ready to come back fighting. Actually, he's had a few ideas.

Unfortunately, he's had more scans to determine how well he's healing, and his doctor isn't certain that the bleed has stopped, though they have slowed it down dramatically. And, unfortunately, there's nothing they can do about the slight scarring visible on his brain except keep him closely monitored.

Obie may not have killed him, but he sure did come close.

Once he's stable, they're flown home. Loki's still banished to a wheelchair in case his legs can't hold him up, but it feels unnecessary. Tony's in one, too, though, and he's only got an injured arm. Maybe it's a formality.

They land at an army base in California. Tony disembarks first, getting out of his wheelchair to greet Pepper with a sarcastic comment and a smile, while Loki is wheeled down. When Pepper sees him looking worse for wear, she actually hugs him.

Happy seems pleased to have them back too; Loki's not had much to do with the driver and bodyguard outside of official business, because he's never been a threat to his plans, but absence makes the heart grow fonder and Happy greets him with a "Good to have you back, Mr Laufeyson."

Tony's going to a press conference first of all. Loki goes too; he already knows what Tony is going to say, and it's going to make his job more difficult. Loki's expertise is in building weapons, and when Tony shuts it down, Loki will have to learn new skills quickly. But he doesn't want to stop Tony, because the last thing he wants is to stand directly against him. He wants to build bridges, not burn them, and his control over Tony isn't stable enough to influence him out of a big decision at the moment.

It's not like Loki's not adaptable. He will learn the complexities of his new role.

Obie lets them out of the car when they arrive at Stark Industries. He makes a show of introducing Tony, hugging him, and almost slamming the door in Loki's face.

Loki hasn't had a chance to talk to Obie yet. He's looking forward to it in a sadistic way.

In any case, Tony knows now. He's keeping up public appearances, but it's pretty clear to Loki that Tony believed everything he said about Obie, which is nice, because it's all true.

Obie tries to introduce Tony, who's sitting on the floor; Loki's sitting next to him, because while he doesn't really need the wheelchair, his limbs aren't the strongest after everything. It's not like he did calisthenics in the cave. Tony invites everyone else to sit down, and it's a mark of his character that they do.

In the background, Loki sees Pepper talking to someone official-looking in a suit. He memorises the face with his newly recovered photographic memory, just in case.

Tony's a natural-born speechmaker, or so it seems - he's had a million and one elocution lessons in his life - and the crowd hangs on his every word.

When Tony announces his intentions to the group, Loki watches as a number of emotions pass across Obie's face, up to and including anger, hatred and cunning.

Tony doesn't see any of that; he's addressing the crowd, eating a cheeseburger. The smell of it in the car had made Loki want to vomit, too rich and fatty for his senses to handle after so many variations on grains, then nutritious but bland hospital food.

Obie tries to silence Tony, tries to pulls him away from the podium. Tony's face twists in anger and disgust, just for a split second, as he remembers everything Obie did. He shoves the man away, finishes what he's saying and helps Loki up, taking his leave.

-O.O-

They head to Tony's house after that, both very tired, though Loki more so. He wasn't expecting how exhausting he'd find being out and about, mostly because he'd been okay in the cave. Apart from the last few days, but according to the doctors, the only things keeping him going then were stubbornness and adrenaline.

He falls into the bed that Tony steers him towards. It's soft and warm and it smells like home and Loki falls asleep in minutes.

He realises later that he's in Tony's bed, and it smells like home because it smells like the man he's been leeching off for months.

And yet, still no true guilt.

He falls asleep again quickly after that. When he wakes up next, Tony's in the bed too. In the cave, they shared a bunk for something like two and a half months, so it really does feel natural for them to be curled up with each other like this.

Loki hates it. He hates that his usual self-controlled and self-reliant traits have been shredded by a few unpleasant months.

And really, the cave could've been worse. The head injury aside, he was never tortured, beaten, starved, drowned, anything, and actually, he was only directly addressed on occasion. Living with his biological parents had been more unpleasant; funny how terrorists did him less physical damage than two people who were supposed to love him and care for him unconditionally.

The thought angers him more. Obie comes into his head somewhere in that train of thought and Loki's head clouds over with a dark, black rage that he doesn't think he's ever felt before; the senseless rage and violence of it makes Loki feel dizzy and nauseous and completely unable to do anything rational. It's promptly followed by Loki throwing up and passing out in the shower. JARVIS kindly turns the water off somewhere along the way, so Loki wakes up to Tony nudging him worriedly, dry and unconscious on the tiles.

"You think you need to go back to the doctor?" Tony asks.

That's the last thing Loki wants. "Side-effects of the general anaesthesia," he lies smoothly, picking himself up off the floor with as much grace as he can muster. "The surgeon warned me about it."

"If you say so," Tony shrugs. "Get dressed. We have work to do."

-O.O-

They really do. Their first priority is replacing Tony's clumsily crafted arc reactor with a sparkly new one.

Tony doesn't even need blueprints; making it in a cave while dying has etched the design onto his brain permanently. Between he and Loki, they make it surprisingly quickly, and replace it with a minimum of drama. It's an odd feeling, having his hand buried in Tony's chest cavity. Very powerful.

This takes a whole day and is a neat distraction from their problems. The next day, when they're both feeling a little perkier, Loki aims to show Tony his evidence against Obie. Unfortunately, this was on a hard drive in Loki's home, and his belongings have since been mostly thrown out or sold. He has some personal effects, and he's ordered a load of new clothes and whatnot, but the hard drive is not among them.

But JARVIS has clearly decided he likes Loki, and he's got back-ups. It's amazing, and Loki is surprisingly grateful.

The evidence is pretty conclusive. It becomes even more conclusive when JARVIS has a poke into Obie's computer and turns up Tony's ransom video.

The pair of them sift through all the evidence. There's enough to get Obie convicted of espionage, but as it stands, his role in the attempted assassinations and kidnappings aren't too clear from a forensic point of view; they need more.

It's a start.

Loki starts carrying a knife with him. He also makes sure he can access the voice recorder app on his phone easily. He knows Obie's angry he's still alive, and he's not going to be caught cold a second time.

That night, Loki and Tony both feel the need for some closeness, and it results in Tony and Loki kissing, and then a lot more. Loki's still angry at himself, but his body craves the human attention even if his mind is rebelling, and fucking Tony makes him feel so much better.

Between the two of them, they start working on remembering all the plans for the metal suit in the cave. Loki has the idea that they can make a better version, create something rather neat. Tony's more than enthusiastic.

They realise pretty quickly that while Tony has a great memory for the design, Loki's memories of the cave seem more and more fractured the more he thinks about it. Every detail remembered seems to be wrong in some way.

Evidently the surgery did help, but it hasn't cured Loki entirely, something they confirm when Loki develops a rather spontaneous migraine the next day and spends the rest of the afternoon crying out in pain and trying to stay sane through the agony. Tony wants to take him to a hospital. Loki keeps refusing.

They still share a bed. Loki can feel Tony inspecting the little scar on the back of his head some nights, surrounded by a landing pad of hair cut short, and he can sense how scared Tony is for him. It's good. Make him concerned.

But he hates the short hair. He hates everything it symbolises, having it hacked so unevenly short. It brings back bad memories.

The rotten, seething black moods come over Loki sometimes, and he feels like he would gladly break Tony's neck if it would release some of the sickening tension.

At least it's not all dark. He has other mood swings too, ones involving anxiety and depression and manic joy, and most of them involve headaches and nausea. All his effort goes into making sure Tony doesn't notice.

Owing to his head injury, he hasn't yet been back at work, and Pepper tells him to take as long as he needs because his department is being completely rearranged and she's covering for him. Loki's not convinced, but he's also not in a state where he can handle work of the organised variety.

As they work on the metal suit - which is going nicely, the reappropriated repulsors are functioning brilliantly - Loki decides to drop into work for a few hours a day. He has to get ready to continue there, to keep in everyone's good books.

He's a millionaire; he doesn't need to work. But it's his foot in the door with Tony Stark.

Loki's also there to work closer to Obie and the evidence against him. They've got most of it, they just need record of payment or something along those lines.

When he hears Obie will be out for the afternoon, he sneaks into his office. Finding the ghost drive takes a surprisingly short time, and there's more in there, stuff that JARVIS didn't manage to copy or archive when it arrived.

It's perfect and Loki is actually something close to happy when the door opens.

"Hook, line and sinker, Loki," Obie says amusedly.

It's a trap, and a pretty obvious one. Why else would the news of Obie's absence for the day spread so quickly?

But Loki's here on Tony's business. JARVIS let him in. He's in the right, at least from Tony's point of view.

Loki stashes the hard drive he was using in his pants. Not his pockets, the elastic band on his boxers. It isn't his most dignified move, but it might slow Obie down.

From some of the rumours swirling about Obie, he probably won't have any convictions about groping Loki in the name of protecting his own neck.

Obie's in the doorway. "JARVIS, deactivate voice track on surveillance."

"I cannot do that, sir," JARVIS says.

"JARVIS, deactivate voice track on surveillance," Loki repeats.

"Yes, sir," JARVIS says.

"He likes me," Loki shrugs. Actually it's just due to the access he has to JARVIS's mainframe. "And now we both have our voices off the record."

"Give me the flash drive, Loki," Obie says, advancing forward menacingly. "Give me the flash drive and you can go."

"You can try take it if you like, but I really was raised to get married before letting someone rummage around there," Loki says blandly.

To be honest, he really wasn't raised for anything much. Maybe that's why even now, when he's got millions, he feels a compulsive need to get _more,_ cling on to what he has like it's sand slipping through his fingers. Being left at age seven with only bruises and the clothes on your back makes you possessive like that.

It's not healthy. It's not like he wouldn't survive if he walked away from Obie and Tony and weapons and everything. But he can't. He feels like he's only going to keep his head above water if he keeps taking and twisting the people around him.

He sincerely thinks Pepper and Tony are nice people, but that won't stop his hand twisting the knife.

Sometimes he wonders if he has a heart at all, or if it's just cold and hard and petrified from everything he's had thrown at him. Literally and metaphorically.

Either way, it doesn't pertain to Obie. Obie disgusts him for so many reasons; one of them, which is probably number one but could be two or three, is how much of himself he sees in him. Someone who has plenty and needs more.

Poor Tony. So many leeches clinging to him.

Obie stops his advance on the other side of his desk. "When I got the message that the Ten Rings had spared the two of you, Loki, I didn't mind that Tony had survived. He's useful. Like I said, he's my golden goose. But you? You're a threat. I wanted you dead and your skull a novelty paperweight on my desk."

"My skull wouldn't look so good," Loki replies, unconcerned. "I understand it's got healed cracks and a bore hole in it now."

"Yeah, they came close," Obie continues. His voice is always slow, deep and calm, even when every word he speaks is laced with hatred. "Not close enough. I will have you out of here, Loki, one way or another."

"Not if I catch you first," Loki says. "You left evidence. I didn't. Guess which case is more believable?"

Keeping with his cool, calm act, Loki struts around the side of the desk, perusing Obie's bookshelf and observing his trinkets.

"No one needs to believe me if they never find you," Obie says.

"Oh, come on. You just sound like some comic book villain now. Then you're defeated using some improbable turn of events, and shout 'curses, foiled again!' as you're led away in handcuffs. Et cetra," Loki says. He's determined to not say anything of substance. No confessions, no anything.

"You're quite the comedian. Maybe that's why Tony likes you," Obie says.

"Maybe he likes me because I'm just so much better at what I'm doing than you. For a start, I'm willing to go all the way. _You_ haven't fucked around with Tony, for a start," Loki says. "I hope," he adds on the end.

Obie doesn't have anything to say to that. He just advances forward again, pinning Loki against the bookshelf.

"Make JARVIS turn off the video," Obie says, looming over Loki. He's not actually taller than him - Loki is about an inch taller - but he's bulky and imposing and his warmth and smell permeate Loki's space. He's certainly succeeding in making himself known.

"Or what?" Loki says with an angelic smile.

"Or I'll do things to you that the camera won't see," Obie says.

Loki realises that in their current position, Obie is shielding Loki from the camera. He could do quite a lot without JARVIS seeing anything.

"I just survived three months with a brain bleed in constant agony. You are barely a blip on my radar," Loki says.

"That's what you think. Give me the flash drive, Loki," Obie says.

"I don't think so," Loki says lightly, ducking down to dodge under his arm and make his escape.

Obie catches him by the throat. That's when the dynamic changes from a meeting of the minds to a meeting of the bodies.

Loki's strong, but Obie is just _bigger_ , so when Obie pins him to the wall and squeezes his throat, Loki simply can't escape.

Lashing out at him doesn't do much. "Give it to me," Obie growls, knocking Loki's head against the shelf.

Loki's grasp on consciousness is fragile at the best of times. Now his head is filled with popping lights.

Obie doesn't seem to realise how weak Loki is, how easy it is to take him down, until he tries. Then he grins. He's enjoying himself, the easy rush of power that comes from attacking someone weaker than you.

"I can just say you had another of your episodes," Obie tells himself, egging himself on.

Loki's passing out when he gets his knife out of his pocket. It often surprises people to learn exactly how vicious a person who's dying or being attacked can be, and Loki's no different, calculating distances and angles and then plunging the pocketknife into Obie's back.

He feels it slide past bone. Then Obie drops like a stone, dragging him down and smacking his head on another shelf.

It hits just the wrong point in his skull and Loki's unconscious almost instantly, though not quick enough to miss the feeling of slick, hot blood on his hands.

-O.O-

Loki's quickly getting used to waking up with a throbbing headache and blurry vision. He does it every day. But he's not in a bed with Tony now, he's in somewhere starkly bright and clean.

Another effing hospital.

It doesn't take long for a nurse to realise he's awake. Tony arrives shortly after.

"What happened?" Loki asks. It's his first priority.

"You don't remember?" Tony says. He looks...not upset, but shaken. Like he wasn't expecting something.

Loki does remember. At least, he thinks he does. But just to play it safe - and head injuries can cause amnesia anyway - he says he doesn't.

"Obie's dead, Loki."

"Oh," Loki says. "How? And why am I here?"

"You stabbed him," Tony says bluntly. "JARVIS caught it on camera. You were in his office, he attacked you, you stabbed him in the spine. He bled to death, probably was paralysed too. You don't remember any of that?"

Loki widens his eyes, looks surprised and a little upset. Every moment from here until he's alone again, he has to act.

"I - maybe. I hit my head; I know that. He was choking me, I think?" Loki says, acting as though the memories were faint and slippery.

Tony nods. "You acted in self-defence. Nothing to be guilty about."

 _I'm really not._ "He bled to death on me," Loki repeats. It's satisfying, those words in his mouth. Though the thought of being covered in Obie's blood is a little disgusting. Not the blood itself so much as the Obie part.

"Mostly. JARVIS told Pepper and Happy, they called an ambulance, but there was no time. You got him in the spine anyway," Tony says. So matter-of-fact. "Police will probably want to talk to you. Pepper's sorting out, you know, the business side of things."

"I'll be happy to cooperate," Loki says blandly. He inspects himself; he's clean and blood-free. They must have cleaned him. "Why am I here?"

"You got strangled, plus you hit your head. Twice. You already have a brain injury. It was for good measure."

"I'm fine," Loki tells him. He gets out of bed, dismissing the nurse, and Tony guides him towards the waiting-room where an investigator is waiting.

It doesn't take long for Loki to confirm that he probably won't be in too much trouble. There's clear video footage, though with the sound mysteriously turned off, of the crime. Obie attacked Loki, Loki defended himself. Coincidentally, this resulted in Obie's death. Loki's not weeping over that, but he does look sad for the investigators. Fact is, Obie has no close friends or family to force the prosecution.

As it happens, Loki has been planning a disposal of Obie anyway. This is perfect. Even the surveillance footage just shows poor little Loki being attacked by crazy Obie. If they lip-read the video, Loki said nothing overly incriminating. Hopefully they don't find Obie's private cameras.

But perhaps he's been too flippant. Tony's looking at him oddly; no doubt it didn't take him long to figure out that it was Loki who'd turned off the sound on the recording, and he probably has JARVIS decoding the lip-reading right now. Loki has to tread carefully.

They go home after Loki's given the all clear. It's night, and Loki just wants to sleep; scheming has to come second when his head is stuffed full of cotton wool and needles, or so it feels. Tony doesn't stay with him; he's been working all night sometimes, and no doubt he's using that as an excuse to keep away.

Loki just falls asleep, his head full of plans to land on his feet again after this unexpected turn of events. Nowhere does guilt or displeasure enter into those thoughts.

-O.O-

Tony knows he should be looking after Loki. The kid just killed a man, after all.

But he can't. He feels a little sick to the stomach, and Loki's the cause. JARVIS gave him the transcript of Obie and Loki's conversation before the attack: in itself, it's not too bad, though unfortunately, Loki is being shadowed by the bookshelf and then blocked by Obie and JARVIS can't pick up most of it. But he's been up for a few hours watching other recordings of just the two of them talking, away from everyone else, and he's come to a simple conclusion. Obie may be guilty as sin, but Loki's done something or is actively doing something just as bad.

Add that to Loki's apparent disinterest in the fact he just killed someone, and his bland lack of emotions and all those secrets that spill out of him at oh-too-convenient moments, and Tony has no real evidence, just a gut feeling that he should worry about the person upstairs.

He thinks about everything he knows about the man who's apparently his friend and occasional lover. He comes up with very little.

At first he distracts himself with Mark 2 of the metal suit. With Loki's help, it's almost done, and he'll be ready to have JARVIS assemble one for each of them in a few days.

But with that over, it's around 4am when Tony goes in search of evidence. Loki migrated to the US, that much is obvious, so there has to be files on him.

He turns up little. Loki's in his late twenties. He owned a weapons design company that Stark Industries bought. He was raised by some other businessman and his wife. As he digs deeper he finds out that said businessman and wife were only foster parents. Removed from his birth parents by Child Services. There's nothing of substance. Loki doesn't have Facebook or Twitter. He's unmarried and no one seems to know him well. He has a criminal record - a caution for some school altercation that got violent, another for shoplifting - though the item was returned - and that's it. He's not exactly a criminal mastermind.  
Loki's kind of just a blank spot. He seems charismatic and open when he talks, but by the end of the conversation, he's said nothing.

No, Tony has no concrete evidence, but he feels odd about Loki.

Feels odd about himself, too. He feels like Yinsen's message is so much less important now that he's not in the thick of it. In fact, the thing that still sticks in his brain the most from Afghanistan is his breakout; his reclamation of power after having everything taken from him. The flamethrowers and using the metal suit to overpower people. Screaming and then silence.  
He feels like he'd like that sensation again.

-O.O-

Coulson finally gets a hold of Pepper after being put off for so long. They talk, and end up saying little. SHIELD has an interest in Tony and Loki. That's really it.

Coulson doesn't tell Pepper, but they know about the metal suit, have satellite footage of it flying. They want it, quite simply.

Tony must have blueprints for it somewhere. No way he created something like that and never recorded it when he got home. It's clear from his reputation that Tony will be recalcitrant and the only person who might also have access to it, a Loki Laufeyson, will be no better.

They need someone on the inside.


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all deteriorates quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS (and I'm serious about them): abusive or manipulative relationship, violence, future character death, past child abuse, and epilepsy.  
> Enjoy.

_Unknown - death_

Tony never says anything to Loki. He doesn't want to. He wants to keep believing that the man he was trapped in a cave with is his best and only friend.

He stays up all night, and when Loki wakes up in the morning - and after Loki's customary morning vomit, he's never going to gain weight like that - they head down to the lab again to keep working on the suit. Loki wryly nicknames it the Iron Man, and it sticks.

"Iron Maiden would be better," Loki says. "It's a triple entendre."

"But we aren't girls," Tony points out.

Loki shrugs. "I value puns more than my gender."

Tony can respect that.

Just like old times, just like when everything was normal, Loki looks over Tony's plans and corrects them. Catches every single error and mistake caused by lack of sleep like he's never had his skull drilled open. They smile and laugh like Loki's not up to something and he didn't kill Obie.

Tony thinks about the attack itself. Loki had clearly not been expecting it, but from the look on his face, he was provoking it. And Loki didn't slash out blindly with the knife. It was a deliberate strike, right in the most fatal place he could reach.

And then he decides not to think about it. Instead, they finalise the plans and tell JARVIS to assemble two Iron Man suits, one for Loki's proportions, one for Tony's.

They're gonna have some fun.

While they're being assembled, Tony and Loki go for a drive. Tony wants a burger from a drive-through. Loki wants to get fresh air.

For weird reasons, there's a weight lifted off them. Obie's dead. He can't hurt them. He's not going to be selling anyone weapons. Everyone is safer.

"So we can just throw away all our evidence against him, I guess," Tony says as they drive. "Maybe we can get some more people in his supply chain in trouble."

Loki just seems amused by the thought. "You actually have no objections to him dying a shameless death."

"What, you want to discredit him?" Tony says. He's not that surprised. It's occurred to him too.

The corners of Loki's mouth quirk up. It seems like an honest emotion, not put on like so many others. "The idea doesn't lack appeal."

"You really hated him, huh?"

"From the moment we met," Loki says. "If you'll pardon the coarse colloquial, he was scum."

"I guess so," Tony says blankly, tapping his hands on the steering wheel. The last few months have been an adjustment, to say the least.

They end up stopping in at Stark Industries. With Obie gone, the board is going to reconvene over the future of the company, and Tony wants to do some influencing in his own favour.

The people they visit seem surprised at how quickly Tony's moving to action, and also that Loki's trailing him around like a dark shadow.

But by the time they leave, it looks like the weapons division will be shut down. Obie was telling them to oppose it, surprise surprise, but he's dead and between Loki and Tony there's a tiny bit of menace in the air. After all, Loki killed a man yesterday and he doesn't exactly seem like a broken shell of a man today, despite the black and blue strangulation bruises ringing his neck.

Upon heading home, they're greeted by the completed Iron Man suits and almost trip over themselves to try them out. They're safer than the cave-built versions, and JARVIS-guided.

They're both a bland silver and nearly identical apart from height differences. Loki tests the joints and propulsion for a minute before he laughs in genuine joy and surges out of the driveway into the afternoon sky, Tony following him.

They chase each other, the suits working perfectly as they swoop and soar, and it's true freedom. Loki thinks that he's never been happier.

Eventually the competition turns to raw speed as they both soar upwards.

"Tony, have you considered icing?" Loki says. "I didn't."

"Shit," Tony says at the same moment as frost starts to form on both of their suits.

Averting disaster, they stop rising and freefall like they're skydiving, all the while discussing potential alloys and mechanisms to prevent the icing. Loki comes up with an emergency static charge on the metal, and Tony suggests a gold-titanium alloy. They agree to put the changes into effect when they get back.

Adrenaline and science. Just for a split second, when the G-force goes to his head, Tony thinks that he loves Loki despite everything. He doesn't know how Loki feels.

He doesn't care. Really, he doesn't care about anything. Not Pepper, not work, not life, not anything. He wants to blow some shit up, hear some screaming.

Tony's newfound... _something_ makes him blast rocks and the suchlike when he gets back to the ground. There's something hotly satisfying about the kick of the repulsors as rocks shatter into pebbles, and he wants to try it with something else, though he's not sure what. Loki seems to agree, and blasts Tony head over heels with one, laughing. They playfight in the sand for a while, testing capabilities, then head back to Tony's house, feeling the buzz of being alive under their skin.

Once the suits are removed and being suitably altered, Tony kisses Loki. It's not a gentle kiss; it's full of anger and the secrets Loki is almost certainly keeping from him and the fact that Obie died yesterday.

Loki's clearly feeling the same, whatever that feeling is, and he kisses back, everything turning into teeth and fingernails and sharp edges of all kinds as Tony fucks Loki against a wall in his lab.

It's good in the worst way. It's also followed by Tony having a drink for the first time since Afghanistan, and surprisingly, Loki joins him.

Pepper turns up late the next morning to find Tony hungover and Loki both hungover and with the usual from his head injury, which leaves Tony irritable and Loki with a migraine.

She can hear Loki whimpering in pain as she talks to Tony. It's disturbing.

"The board has officially signed off on the shutdown of our weapons-making division," Pepper tells Tony loudly, trying to block Loki out. "Everything's getting rearranged. Which is why we need to talk. Privately."

"Loki doesn't count as a person," Tony chuckles. "Also, his memory retention during migraines is shit. He won't remember any of this later."

"Should he get medical care?" Pepper asks worriedly. She's been concerned about Loki a lot recently. His injuries, plus the clear stress he's been under, and it's been two goddamn days since Obie. It seems like everyone has forgotten about it.

The funeral's going to be in three days; it's already arranged.

"You just try and make him, Pep," Tony says.

Pepper takes that as a no. She explains to him about Stark Industries, how it really needs someone at its helm at the moment, during all this change. The board is slow and lacks charm. They need Tony.

"They don't need Tony," Tony says. "They need to get their head out their asses and do something useful. And Tony needs to keep working. He's got a big project he's working on."

Pepper's not in the mood to argue. Her and Tony were fighting so much, before Afghanistan, and she doesn't want that vicious cycle to start again.

"Just think about it, Tony," she tells him.

"You think about it. That's your job," Tony says. "Actually, that is your job. Pep, you're the new Tony."

"What?"

"I'm giving you my job."

"You can't."

"I can. I'm the boss. Now you go and run Stark Industries. You'll do a better job than I ever did."

They talk for a little while longer, and Tony can't be disuaded. He promises to sign papers and formalise it. It's as the conversation is winding up that Loki emerges.

Pepper thinks he looks bad. He was skinny and pained-looking when he got back from Afghanistan, and she'd attributed that to, well, everything. But he looks even thinner now, just skin pressed to lean muscle pressed to bone, and the dark shadows under his eyes are only lengthening.

"Guess whose Vicodin just kicked in?" Loki says, leaning against the doorframe with a twisted version of his usual charismatic smile on his lips.

"Hi," Pepper says, unsure what else to say. She stares at his protuberant collarbone for half a second before she says "Do you want breakfast?"

Loki shakes his head. "I haven't thrown up this morning. I'm not giving myself the chance, either."

Pepper's startled by that. She wonders if Tony is seeing the same Loki she is, because he doesn't really seem that interested in Loki's wellbeing.

"Uh, okay. Is there anything else you need, Tony?" Pepper says, though she still doesn't take her eyes off Loki. She can't. It's like a train wreck in slow motion, how different he is to the man she hired half a year ago.

"Nope, we're good. Come on, babe, the secret project's probably done," Tony says with a wink.

Pepper also doesn't miss that they were sleeping in the same bed. Plus, the 'secret project'? Things are strange in the house of Stark.

Besides, she doesn't feel particularly welcome. She doesn't want another argument, and Tony is hungover and probably won't be that hard to provoke.

She leaves them to it. They have their own crazy to sort out.

-O.O-

The suits are done. Tony had his painted hot-rod red and Loki's gone for green, the same acid green as his eyes.

They have another test flight. They've decided to have a race; the first person to San Francisco wins, and JARVIS is the judge. It's only 400 miles, which, by Loki's calculations, is nothing for the suits. They can travel at far past the speed of sound.

Loki cheats at the takeoff. Of course he does. There's laughter, and then Loki zooms away, the arc reactor in his suit making a streak of light.

Lucky him that the arc's only in the suit. Tony hates the way his presses in to his chest, feeling sick and wrong and unnatural.

But it's hard to feel sorry for himself when he thinks about how bad Loki's head injury is.

Then again, he's not sure he cares. Loki's up to something. He doesn't know what just yet, but he will.

It's so, so tempting to just turn and blast Loki out of the sky. No one would know, probably. If he didn't land in the water, he'd be a mangled mess on landing, and quite unidentifiable. Worst case scenario, and Tony can claim it was an accident due to the new technology.

He doesn't feel like killing Loki would bother him overly. Not since Afghanistan. He killed a lot of people then and he finds that it doesn't blacken his soul as much as the media tells you it does.

But, no. He wants to talk to Loki. Whatever his motives, Loki's clearly smart and cunning. A good ally, by any means.

He wins the race, narrowly. Then he gloats about it all the way home until Loki slams into him, challenging him to a test of strength. Another playfight later - though at some point it almost feels real, Tony shoving a little too hard, Loki moving a little too quick - and they're back at Tony's home, putting the suits away. They're planning to go upstairs for a shower together, but as they head through the atrium, Pepper stops them.

"I need to talk to you. I've got papers for you to sign," she says to Tony. "About what we discussed earlier."

"Oh yeah. Lokes, I'm giving the company to Pepper. By the way. Wow, you worked quick. Little eager there?" Tony says.

"I'm just trying to get everything sorted out. My assistant organised this this morning," Pepper says tolerantly. "You'll need a new assistant, too, so I'll be on the lookout."

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me the papers," Tony says.

He has no problem with making Pep the CEO. Technically, he's still the biggest boss, and now he doesn't have to do anything. He can just...do what he wants to do. He doesn't know what that is yet.

-O.O-

Tony and Loki both go to Obie's funeral.

It's odd, because Loki's still sporting those strangulation bruises, and, well, he's the guy who stabbed Obie to death in the first place. Loki keeps his head down for exactly those reasons.

Tony has no such qualms. He hijacks the projector to give his speech. And then he lists Obie's crimes, backs them up with the photos they've obtained of Obie meeting with terrorists, Obie in Kabul, Obie attacking Loki. Tony is not gentle. He sinks his claws into the memory of Obie and shreds it, and at the end when he sees devastated and confused people, he grins and thanks them for their time dryly and takes his leave with Loki.

"Well, that felt good," Tony chuckles, slipping into the driver's seat of his car.

"Yes it _did,"_ Loki purrs happily as they drive off.

-O.O-

Pepper comes back a couple of days later, and she determinedly doesn't say a word about their appearance at Obie's funeral. She's got a likely candidate for the role of Tony's assistant.

Loki looks at her and thinks _, liar._

She's introduced as Natalie Rushman. Her credentials are read out. Tony is too busy admiring her perfect porcelain face to actually think about what he's saying when he gives her the job.

But Loki sees past it. Lying to a liar is tricky. It takes the truth to fool them properly. And nothing, nothing at all about Ms Rushman, say 'truth' to Loki.

He doesn't say a word about it. He smiles, shakes her hand, and says "You seem like a rather interesting woman."

It's not a lie. But she can sense something off about him too. It's just like Obie all over again.

This is where Loki has the advantage. She's here for some dishonest reason, and it shouldn't take too long to figure it out. When he does, when he goes to Tony, she'll just be another liar clinging onto him and he'll be in Tony's good books because Tony is sick of people manipulating him.

Which is ironic. Loki loves irony.

Besides, Loki's quite content where he is. The Iron Man suit - or Liesmith, as Loki has nicknamed his own in his head - is an amazing added bonus, something he wouldn't quite be capable of alone. He's starting to think he could just be happy with his life where he is, with Tony, and just about infinite resources and everything. He's even stopped forcing Tony's hand so much, happy enough with his relationship with him as is.

It's sickening. Really sickening.

Speaking of sickening, Tony's getting sick. Loki can tell. Tony probably hasn't noticed yet, paragon of denial that he is.  
When Tony's not around, he gets JARVIS to analyse Tony's symptoms. They're fairly generic, so JARVIS can only give him a shortlist, but that's good enough.

JARVIS is sworn to secrecy. Loki's overridden his prime directive, obey and protect Tony, in favour of making himself the first priority.

Once he thinks of it, he wants to hit himself with how obvious it is. After all, Tony has a ring of palladium embedded in his chest.

Heavy metal poisoning. Duh.

This gives Loki leverage over Tony. Which is nice. It'll be a good one to whip out to knock him off his feet.

He also knows of some chemicals that could lessen his symptoms. More leverage.

But he doesn't want to hurt Tony. He finds himself researching isotopes and having JARVIS run simulations to see what else could be used in palladium's place.

This goes against his plan.

When he came here, he wanted to win Tony's favour, become his second in command, then have Tony mysteriously hand off the company to him. Preferably fatally, but incapacitation would work too.

And now he's being handed Tony's future death on a platter, just like Obie's.

But he's happy. He's happy with Tony and the Liesmith suit and his easy life. He doesn't want to steal, which is unusual for him, being a compulsive thief and whatnot.

Like he said. Sickening.

Fortunately, he can push this out of his mind with Natalie. She's a new project. No matter what he decides, she needs to be gone.

It's geniunely fun, working with JARVIS to check her history. First they break down everything that Stark Industries has on her, then isolate details that can be corroborated in other ways. Loki sets JARVIS searching for her face on the web while he manually goes searching.

Just as he expected. They've done a thorough job on building her a background story, whoever's behind this. It would've held up to scrutiny from your average person.

But there's too much. Natalie - Natasha, more accurately - has such a history that no one could ever cover it up.

The scary part is, Loki's heard of her. The Black Widow. Famous worldwide for being the best. And she's onto him.

His only advantage is the element of surprise. And the fact that spying is supposedly illegal.

He leaves that for another day. But he sets JARVIS on consolidating evidence. Just like with Obie, there's no point in doing anything without hard evidence. Tony will accuse Loki of jumping at shadows. Probably.

It's hard to tell. Tony's being reacting differently to things recently. It's like he's undergone a personality shift. The new Tony is more reckless, more self-sufficient, probably with a greater capacity for violence or cruelty if he gets pushed. Loki has a good sense for that kind of thing.

He's embracing his inner psychopath. Nice enough, but it'll make him harder to control.

-O.O-

Loki should be panicking about Tony giving the CEO-ship of Stark Industries to Pepper. He should. It puts her more likely to be Tony's successor. But he finds it hard to care.

-O.O-

When one is sick for a long time, they learn to ignore the symptoms. Loki doesn't mind anymore how badly nauseous he gets, so that sometimes he doesn't eat for a day or too, or how irregularly he sleep, or how his head pounds. He can push forward when his hands are shaking or his vision is blurring or his tongue feels like a block of rubber in his mouth.

And there's always that whining in his ears. It never leaves.

It's especially easy to ignore with his helpful friend the bottle of Vicodin. But he's running out, and he knows from experience that withdrawal is a bitch.

Getting another bottle will involve tests and scans and he doesn't want to go through that. He'd rather get sick, which looks like it's in the books anyway.

-O.O-

Loki can't deny he gets a little kick out of manipulating people, blackmailing them too. That's why he keeps doing it.

So he has to confront Natasha. He has to. Even if it's only a short thing before he tells Tony.

He's back at work. Sometimes. It looks like he's going to have to quit due to medical issues. His head throbs every time he tries to concentrate too hard. But that's okay, because he's a weapons designer and Stark Industries doesn't do weapons anymore.

He has her summoned to his office and looks busy as she comes in. "Take a seat, Natasha," he says, not looking at her. "No, it's Natalia. Natalie? All these 'Nat' names, I get confused. My apologies." He smiles blandly, looks like the straight-laced poindexter he's supposed to be.

Natasha smiles just as blandly back. "Natalie, sir. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well," Loki says, shuffling his papers. He knows he looks like an ass. It's kind of the point. "It's come to my attention that you attempted to access JARVIS's secure files, unpermitted."

"With all due respect, sir, that doesn't concern you," she says. Her smile is still businesslike and rigid.

"This has nothing to do with R&D," Loki agrees. "However, I'm also a close friend of Tony Stark's, and he'd be quite irritated to find out that his new assistant has been pushing the rules already. Yes?"

"Yes, Mr Laufeyson. It was an accident; I didn't realise those files were secure," Natasha says.

She's so perfect in her acting. Just the right amounts of guilt and professionalism. A tiny bit of cheekiness to season.

It's too perfect. It's angering. Loki feels the onset of another pitch-dark mood bubbling up through his chest, and he knows he has to end this encounter before he does something potentially regrettable. Like strangle her.

"Very well. You may go," Loki says with a gesture at the door. As she leaves, he adds - rather dramatically - "Just don't forget. I set those alerts myself; they could only be triggered by someone attempting to access a recent confidential project of Tony's and mine." And then he makes a slightly more insistent gesture towards the door.

She did try to access them. And he did catch her red-handed. It's just a matter of taking that evidence to Tony.

He hopes he's made her a tiny bit anxious. Put her on edge. The thought improves his mood for the day.

-O.O-

Loki decides to go to Tony. Before, it would've just been part of his cycle of demolishing Natasha, but he finds that he's actually quite enjoying the prospect. Tony is becoming more spiteful and violent, and he feels that he'd probably come up with some excellent ideas for dismissing her.

"Tony," Loki says one night while they're lying in bed. "There's something about Natalie."

"Mm?" Tony grunts.

Tony's on the other side of the bed, but Loki knows that when he falls asleep he'll inch closer. It's hard to break the habits they formed in the cave, and neither of them have suggested not sharing a room anymore.

"You may accuse me of jumping at shadows, but I found myself suspicious of her. She's a little too perfect," Loki says. Tony doesn't reply, but Loki knows he's listening. "JARVIS and I did a little research. Her name is Natalia Romanova, or Natasha Romanov, also known as the Black Widow. An ex-KGB agent, now working for the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division."

Tony rolls over and looks at him. "What the fuck is that?"

"A secret organisation of spies who stick their noses in places and say it's for the greater good," Loki says. "I'd imagine they've got something they want from us, or more accurately, you."

Tony believes Loki straight off the bat. Of everyone, Loki seems to tell him the truth most often, and Tony's doubts about him are fading a little. But just to back it up, Loki calls on all his evidence that JARVIS has neatly sorted. It's more than enough. Tony is convinced.

Then Tony spents the next twenty minutes snarling angrily about people spying on him and trying to take things from him and somewhere in there Loki heard him formulating a way to send Nat away and humiliate her at the same time.

-O.O-

The next day, Tony's pretending to work, and he calls Natasha into his home office.

"Natalie," he says. "How's working here treating you?"

"Good, thank you," she says with another of those perky, unreadable little smiles.

"It's good to have you here. You know what Pepper says; I can barely feed and clothe myself half the time," Tony jokes dryly. Loki knows that it smarts Tony to think about it; he can't stand Pepper anymore, which is for the best.

Natasha smiles out of subordinate obligation. "You do just fine."

"That's right, I do. I'm a clever man," Tony says. "You know, I've been working on a new project? I came up with it when I was in Afghanistan. When Lokes and I were locked up. It's the only reason we're still alive."

Natasha's face doesn't betray her interest directly, but her eyes are suddenly just a little more focused on him.

"But you know all this, of course. Loki told me you tried to get access to it," Tony continues. "So you must be interested."

"As I said to Loki, that was an accident. I'm sorry," Natasha says.

"Nah," Tony says. "You don't get a job here to make accidents. You're Black Widow; you're the best. So I'm thinking you must be _really_ interested in the Iron Man suit. And I'm an ego kinda guy, so I wanna see what you think. Loki?"

Natasha's eyes open wider as she hears heavy footsteps. She turns to come face to face with the chestplate of the Liesmith, and inside, Loki is grinning.

"Pretty impressive, huh?" Tony grins, keeping it up.

To her credit, Natasha keeps her cool. "Yes, sir."

"You want to find out how fast he can run someone down?" Tony says.

Which is when Loki fires a repulsor blast and splinters her chair under her. She's too quick to fall down, regaining her balance neatly.

"Run," Loki says, his voice robotic but still recognisably his own.

Natasha's a good judge of a situation, and she can tell that despite their smiles, neither of them are joking.

She runs. As she's halfway down the hallway, Loki fires a warning shot that shreds the wall behind her. Then she runs faster, and Loki laughs.

"Tell your boss to mind their own fucking business!" Tony shouts after her.

Despite all her worldly experience, she's clearly scared, and Tony would be guilty if it didn't feel so good.

"It's tempting to go after her," Loki admits. "But my aim isn't perfect and I don't want to have to dispose of a dead spy."

"Little stressful after Obie, huh?"

"No. The logistics are just difficult. At least with Obie the police and hospital took over. It made my job far easier," Loki says. He's not sure if he should be saying this, but he's wearing a well-armed metal suit, so hey. Why not.

Tony doesn't look surprised. More like he's had something confirmed. "You stabbed Obie on purpose?"

"Yes," Loki said. "One doesn't _accidentally_ stab someone in the spine. Did you honestly think that Obie's death wasn't my intention?"

"I guess I did," Tony says levelly, calmly.

"That makes you an idiot, now, doesn't it?" Loki says, stalking away to put away the Liesmith.

-O.O-

_"So that's your brother," Sif said reverently, watching through the handrail bars on the stairs. They were at the Burison house. Loki had just come home for the weekend from his boarding school._

_"Foster brother," Thor said, eager enough to distance himself from Loki._

_"Why doesn't he go to our school?" Sif asked. She realised she'd never asked that before._

_"He goes to a reformatory school. For 'troubled teens' or something," Thor replied._

_Sif frowned, curious. "What'd he do?"_

_"Nothing much. He is quiet," Thor said. "Just don't leave any valuables around him. He steals everything he can. Like a magpie."_

Loki can still remember those words. Thor can't whisper.

He always used to steal. When he lived with his own parents, stealing made life better. More food, more fun, something of a distraction, whatever. It was a fairly necessary part of life. Five-year-old Loki could pickpocket 'the stripes off a tiger' or so someone had told him.

When he was removed - by the 'pigs', which was what another child named them, and which seemed a little crude - he was told that it was okay. Everything was okay. But his hands itched and he kept taking things anyway.

Most people hadn't seemed to mind too much, until eight-year-old Loki had stolen his foster father's keys and accidentally made the car roll forward and smash into a building. Then his current foster parents had given up on him, which was how he'd ended up being fostered at the Burisons. And also at a boarding school for naughty little kids like him.

Beyond stealing keys, Loki is now considering taking the Liesmith and just going somewhere. It's got an infinite power source, and it could take him anywhere. But no, now he wants to see how everything will play out.

So he leaves it. He has JARVIS alert just in case he needs to summon the suit and get into it quickly. And then he heads upstairs like he didn't just confess to murder.

-O.O-

Tony and Loki awkwardly skirt around each other for a few days.

Tony doesn't know how to feel. Yes, he had suspected that Loki was not what he seemed and that Obie's death wasn't so clear-cut.

But does he care? That's the question. And the answer he comes up with is no. No, he doesn't, not about Obie, not after what Obie did to the both of them. They're on the brink of something, he and Loki, and they make a good team; he just doesn't know what he's expecting to happen.

He may have disregarded what Loki did, but he's still going to wait for him to speak first.

Loki does. Tony's half-asleep when his bedroom door opens. The sound of undressing, then the rustling of bedclothes comes next. Then he feels Loki's lips trace up the back of his neck.

"You don't care about me killing Obie, do you, Tony?" Loki purrs, his hot breath sending tingles down Tony's spine.

"Maybe I do," Tony says, not turning to face Loki.

Loki chuckles. "You don't have that much of a conscience-" then a kiss just under Tony's hairline. _"-darling."_

The pet name just reminds Tony how undefined their relationship is. Yes, they live together, and yes, they fuck on occasion, but they're not exactly star-crossed lovers. Nor would Tony particularly consider Loki to be a friend, after everything. Ally, maybe. Partner in crime. Sidekick, if Loki wasn't so dangerous on his own.

But that implies they're working towards something, that the Iron Man suits are being created for a certain purpose. And they're not.

"I guess I don't," Tony agrees.

Then Loki's hands take advice from his lips and gently start tracing Tony's sides. Tony can feel the slight tremor in them.

Tony knows he's being bought off with sex. Loki's not being subtle. But it's working; there's something about Loki that Tony finds just too attractive, and after letting heat build as Loki's hands explore him, he rolls over and captures Loki's lips with his own.

"I think I hate you," Tony says honestly against Loki's lips. Loki just laughs.

-O.O-

One of Loki's eyes is fully dilated. Just one. It looks odd. He looks closer at it in the mirror, inspecting it thoughtfully.

Loki knows things are getting bad. He's taking twice the recommended dose of Vicodin just to get out of bed in the morning and he's having to source it illegally from LA. His hands have started shaking again.

But he doesn't want medical help. He doesn't like the effects of general anaesthetic, doesn't want anyone poking around in his skull. He can beat it; according to the doctors, he nearly beat it before.

He thinks. It's all kind of a fractured blur. His memories since the attack all seem to turn into that after long enough.

-O.O-

Their chasing away of Natasha does not go unnoticed. Firstly, Pepper tells them off, even after they explain that she was a spy. Fortunately for Loki's patience and permanent headache, Tony has no time for Pepper anymore, and sends her away. She shoots Loki an asking look, and he just shrugs, like there's nothing he do. It's kind of like the old days, when Loki was pretending to help Tony and Pepper get along, but they both know that those days are gone. The bubble has burst.

Tony ends the debate by saying "Just get out, Potts. I don't care how. Get out of my house."

Which is rather effective in banishing her.

Their next caller on the subject is a Nick Fury. Loki's in the grips of another migraine, so he misses the finer details of the conversation. But he understands that Fury is a high-up at SHIELD (as its' initials spell), knows about the Iron Man suits, is pissed that they threatened his agents, wants to talk business. Loki only catches the loudest of Tony's curses as Fury is dismissed, but he understands that if Fury isn't offended, he has quite a thick skin.

Once Loki feels a little better - as in, he can walk without trembling from pain - he slinks to Tony. His hands stay behind his back to hide their tremor as he leans on the doorframe to talk to Tony.

"Isn't it amazing, how many people try to push you around? And then SHIELD has the balls to bluntly call you and tell you you're not dancing on the strings they've tied to you," Loki says, affecting the low voice he uses when he's trying to sell an idea. "You must be so sick of it."

Tony doesn't say anything.

"And you're not allowed to lash back, not instantly, not legally. You have to follow the slow process of getting evidence," Loki says. His voice sounds odd for a moment; sometimes his words just don't leave his mouth properly. "You're Tony Stark. You're one of the richest men in the world, with a basement full of weapons, and now the Iron Man suit. You shouldn't have to put up with this."

"I shouldn't," Tony says. "Not from you, either."

"Pardon?"

"You heard me, Lokes. Look at you. You're just standing there trying to piss me off and make me angry at the people you want me to fight," Tony says.

"Well, yes," Loki shrugs. "I'm just surprised it's taken you over six months to notice, really."

Loki's thinking that this could be a fun discussion.

"What have you made me do?" Tony asks before he can help himself.

This is easy to analyse; Loki thinks that Tony's looking over the last half a year and wondering what Loki's influenced him into doing.

"I don't know," Loki says, shrugging again. "It's hard to tell. You are a bit of an asshole; that wasn't all me."

Tony's quiet for half a minute. Then he manages to say "Why?"

"Why is SHIELD bothering you? Why did Obie want to keep you working? Why did Natasha spy on you?" Loki grins viciously. "Why are Pepper and Rhodey your friends?"

"That's not true."

"You don't know that," Loki says, pushing off the doorframe and walking away. Tony's on his feet in an instant, following him to continue what they're saying. A cute little power play.

But despite Loki's dominating behaviour, Tony can see how he's actively avoiding physical confrontation. His hands are shaking and his eyes look strange. If anything comes to blows, Tony has the advantage, even though he feels a bit nauseous and tired. He's been like that for a while. He wonders vaguely if Loki is poisoning him or something. After all this, it wouldn't surprise him much.

It's hard to care.

"Loki. Who are you? Why are you doing this?" Tony says, surprisingly reasonable.

"My name is Loki Laufeyson. I'm a businessman. I felt like fucking you over. The end," Loki says acidly. He's sitting in a barstool now, more confident with his weight supported.

"Get out of my house," Tony says. "Or I'll get the Iron Man, and no one will ever find your body."

Loki knows he's nearly lost the game. He played well. Better than anyone else. He can leave Tony now, certainly, cut his losses. But Tony's not exactly a standalone person anymore; his interpersonal skills are harsh and crooked and he's dying slowly of heavy metal poisoning. Loki can break him, and then he'll finally have Tony completely under his thumb.

"And what would you do without me?" Loki asks airily.

"Go back to how things were."

"No, I don't think so. You've become quite the villain recently, Stark; I think that real life would prove too much for you," Loki murmurs, forcing Tony to listen hard. "How long until you do to Pepper what you did to that spy? Or Rhodey, perhaps, if he's a little too interested in the Iron Man? Isn't it just so tempting to stop them annoying you? Fear is the best deterrent. You're Tony Stark; your so-called friends shouldn't disrespect you like they do."

"Shut up," Tony snaps.

"I'd hardly blame you if you did snap, Tony. They are not your friends. Trust me, I know people, and they're just using you for your money and your genius. Just like Obie. There's no one around you who could possibly care less whether you live or die," Loki snarls. He wonders if he's always been so harsh. He feels as if he's become more so as of late, and it seems right to point the finger at the head injury, but he doesn't know.

 _You might want to ask your friends or family to monitor you for personality or behavioural changes,_ the doctor had said.  
But Loki has no friends, and his family - both biological and fostered - seemed to want nothing to do with him. No one wants the magpie boy, and certainly no one can tell if his personality has changed at all.

"And I suppose you do?" Tony says. His face seems cold and serious, but he's clenching his fists so hard and his eyes keep darting from side to side. He's greatly distressed, but he wants to seem unaffected.

"Admittedly, yes, but only a little. I quite like you sometimes," Loki says lightly. "Is that the only part you want to question? You know the rest is true, yes?"

Tony's about to do something, though he's not sure what. He wants to hurt Loki, wants to kick him around and throw him out, but that'd be playing right into everything Loki's saying. It doesn't help that at the same time Loki is untouchable in his mind. And he hates that so much.

He's stopped in his tracks by something or the other when there's a knock on the wall. Pepper's standing there. She's dropped a pizza box on the floor, which she was probably going to use to smooth things over with Tony, and she looks both upset and appalled. Both emotions are probably directed at Loki.

"Pepper," Loki says sweetly. "Get out of this house."

But Pepper, for all her polite smiles and diplomacy, is fire inside.

"You do not get to tell me what to do, Loki. And you don't talk to Tony like that either," she says. She looks a little like Wonder Woman, hands on her hips.

"Pepper," Loki snarls, getting to his feet, adrenaline letting him stand up straight. Tony knows how adrenaline and stubbornness can make a very sick Loki capable of all sorts. "If your goal right now is goad me into becoming very angry, then _you are succeeding_. Get. Out."

"Don't-" Tony starts.

"Shut it," Loki tells him sharply. "Pepper, trust me when I say that your presence is not welcome here."

"Loki, I just-" Pepper also starts.

"Pepper, leave," Tony sighs.

"Are you sure?" Pepper says.

"Go," Tony says.

Loki smiles in satisfaction. Tony, his little puppet.

She does. She leaves the pizza, though, and she doesn't look away from him until she's around the corner.

Loki always thinks that Pepper is an amazing woman. Pity she's such a pain in the ass, at least in terms of his plans. In another life, he'd probably quite like her.

Tony sits down. "I don't know what to do."

"This is usually the point where you ask me and I convince you to do something," Loki says amusedly.

"Piss off."

"I live here."

"Since Afghanistan," Tony says. "I kept you alive then."

"And I don't deny I'm slight grateful," Loki said. "The cat is out of the bag. Either make me do something or give in to me."

"I can't do this anymore," Tony says. He's so tired. He can't take another betrayal, another traitor in his ranks.

"I'm not surprised. You're weak. You have no willpower for the better; you're only motivated when getting revenge or hurting someone. I can remember how you gloried when you broke free from our cave; in fact, it's nearly all I can remember, now," Loki says, advancing towards Tony. He's pale and shaky; Tony wonders how sick Loki is, which isn't a thought that crosses his mind often.

"I didn't. I was scared."

"Of course you were scared. And you were also on a high from the blood and adrenaline," Loki shrugs. Only one of his shoulders lifts; the other just twitches. "Just give into a complete lack of empathy. Trust me, it's easier than justifying and moralising like you're doing now."

"I'm not justifying. I'm telling you, Loki."

"Same difference, I - I think," Loki says. The hesitation is unusual for him.

"That's not - what are you doing?" Tony says. "Why are you sitting down?"

"I'm not sitting," Loki says, but it comes out slurred, and he's halfway to lowering himself to the ground. Then he blinks heavily. "How did I-"

The rest is unintelligible. Tony can only really watch in confusion as Loki breathes heavily for a moment. Then his eyes roll back into his head and he slumps to the ground, twitching.

Tony doesn't know if Loki's having a seizure. He's never bothered to do any background reading on them, doesn't know if there's another explanation for what Loki is doing.

But he knows that Loki is dying. That's visible from a mile off. Loki's body is quitting on him, not necessarily with the seizure now, but with so many other things.

This is Tony's chance to let Loki die. Everyone knows that Loki's sick; his sudden death after odd symptoms and a seizure won't surprise anyone, and it probably won't take that long, judging by the way Loki looks half-dead already.

It's so, so tempting. He could get rid of Loki, get away free just like Loki did with Obie.

But he can't function without Loki. He knows it. Loki's right.

All this weighs on his mind as he gets JARVIS to call an ambulance.

-O.O-

For the umpteenth time, Loki stirs awake in hospital with Tony waiting next to his bed. But it's different this time. He's in a single room, and he's hooked up to a great deal more monitors than last time. There's the gentle beep of his heart rate mixing with the usual ringing in his ears.

He knows things are worse this time.

Tony sees his half-open eyes, grins almost stupidly like it's a trained response. It sort of is.

"How close to dead this time?" Loki asks, smiles back in a friendly, affectionate way. He was harsh to Tony before; doing it again will result in rebellion. No, he needs Tony feeling like keeping him alive was the right choice.

"Very," Tony says, his voice rough like he hasn't used it for a long time.

"How fascinating," Loki says, but nurses and a doctor are arriving already and Tony is shooed away with Loki's permission.

Loki learns, in short, that he's going to die. Outside, he could last a week. With his head being constantly drained here in hospital, maybe he could last quite a long time. But Loki hates those options.

Yes, a minor vein or two was not properly sealed by his original operation, and the lack of monitoring or check-ups since then has allowed the situation to get out of control, where the veins have compromised other veins into leaking and tearing and the whole thing is slowly swelling and spreading. The words 'compressed brain tissue' have been bandied about; he's also developing epilepsy in this late stage, which could be what finally polishes him off. The area is currently too big for surgery. Nothing can be done.

Loki's going to die because of his own stubbornness.

Immediately, he starts thinking. Plans to get out of hospital. Plans to somehow cure himself of something incurable.

 _Perhaps I travel to a remote corner of the globe and find a magic flower that can heal all physical ailments,_ Loki thinks wryly.

Probably not. But he does have an idea.

-O.O-

"I'm going to die soon," Loki tells Tony later.

"What a pity," Tony says. It sounds odd, sarcastic, but almost...uncertain.

"I have other options," Loki says. "I always do."

"Good for you," Tony says, in much the same way as before.

"I notice that Pepper isn't here at my sickbed," Loki says, smirking a little.

"She hates you."

"The feeling is mutual. She's too sharp," Loki tuts.

"I hate you too," Tony says.

There's poison on Loki's lips, like there always is when he needs to cow someone. "You're dying, too, Stark."

"What?" Tony says, but Loki catches the micro-expressions.

"You know exactly what I mean. You're getting sick. Dizziness, nausea, headaches - JARVIS and I have been talking it over," Loki says. "You're a fool to think you can insert palladium into your body and not fall ill."

Instinctively, Tony's hand grips the light in his chest. He's gone just a little pale. "What can I..." Then he trails off, mind already whirring.

"I know of chemicals that can reduce the symptoms," Loki says. "Make you live longer, perhaps. But there is no cure except removing your arc reactor."

And they both know he can't do that.

"Let me guess," Tony says harshly. "This is blackmail."

Loki's lips quirk into a smile. "Now you're catching on. Get me out this hospital and I'll help you."

Tony leaves. Loki knows that he's going to go home, get his blood toxicity checked, do some research. And then he'll come crawling back.

-O.O-

He does. He does, and he looks tired and wasted and there's clearly no fight left in him.

"How do you want to play this?" he asks Loki without an introduction.

"You in the Iron Man suit. Come in through the window, or break the wall. Carry me away. Make an anonymous payment to the hospital for the damages; I'm not a truly awful person," Loki says bluntly.

"Anything you say, boss," Tony says dryly, but despite his tone, he's being honest.

-O.O-

They go through with this plan. Tony ends up shooting a hole through the wall because he really does enjoy screaming and destruction. Then he carries Loki off.

In the past, there've been sightings of the Iron Man. But this is the full shebang. Suddenly, people are running scared of this metal monster that just ripped open a wall and carried poor little Loki Laufeyson away. As per Loki's idea, people immediately assume that Iron Man is a villain.

Loki gets home. Props himself up in Tony's lab. Starts designing schematics.

"What are you doing?" Tony asks.

"Life support suit," Loki says shortly, focusing. This involves fighting his already-failing brain with all of his strength. "Can drain blood from my head, support my weak limbs."

"You're gonna adapt the Iron Man?"

"Liesmith," Loki corrects. "My one's called the Liesmith."

He likes the double entendre. Also the mythological references. When he was little, he liked to think that Loki Silvertongue was watching over him, or something. Or that, you know, someone was. Now the Liesmith is going to keep him alive for one last hurrah.

"Why bother? You're gonna die anyway," Tony says. At least he's direct.

"Because we're dying. Don't you want revenge?" Loki asks. "Do you really want to be remembered as someone who just lay down and died?"

"Revenge against who?" Tony says. He's not even bothering to deny what Loki is saying.

"SHIELD," Loki says. "The government. The world. I haven't decided on the specifics yet, but there will be blood."

Tony thinks about saying no. Or getting Loki arrested, or recommitted to the hospital, or something sensible along those lines.

But he doesn't believe in the afterlife. There's no reincarnation. He's always been a hedonist living in the now. And he can't drink, can't party, not when he's dying. There are weird dark lines coming off the arc reactor now; they're poisoned flesh. Loki can help him. As always, sticking with Loki and doing as he says is mentally Tony's only real option.

He wants that twisted surge of joy and adrenaline he got when he was burning that Ten Rings camp. Loki can give it to him.

"I'm in," Tony says. "Let's fuck up SHIELD. If we're still alive, we pick something else. The Ten Rings maybe."

"Very good," Loki says.

"Give me the symptom suppressors," Tony urges.

"Certainly. If you say the magic word," Loki says airily.

"I hate you."

"How cruel."

"You're brilliant. But you're messed up, Loki," Tony says, advancing on Loki.

"And you're not wrong about that," Loki says evenly. "But I do doubt you hate me. At one point, I was near certain I'd hear a love confession out of you."

Tony just sighs. He has no energy to fight. Then he places his hand on Loki's thigh and roams it upwards.

"I'm busy," Loki tells him sharply.

"I just want this, Loki. You and me," Tony says.

That seems to get through to Loki. "You and I. I could do that."

But Loki's not the strongest, so they go to Tony's bedroom and they're gentle with each other, almost sweet, like the other is damaged goods, and that's not wrong.

If both of them are going to be getting steadily getting weaker, then that could be their last time. An odd thought considering they're not even in a relationship.

-O.O-

The new life support version of the Liesmith seems to be working fine, though it's odd for Loki to have the back of his head open and actually draining. But it helps. It has new systems to compensate for Loki's shaky limbs and occasionally off-kilter senses, and JARVIS is programmed to monitor everything and give Loki reminders about food and drink to replenish lost blood.

It's weird that despite everything that went wrong for Obie, his assassination attempt has succeeded, months later and more subtly than anyone could've predicted.

-O.O-

Loki's sitting by himself outside of the suit, contemplating life. He feels a hot wetness on his face unexpectedly and wonders if he's done something horribly cliched and overemotional like crying without noticing. His hands, touching his face to check, come away scarlet. His nose is bleeding.

He can't even feel the pain of it over the throb of his head.

There's so much blood, all over his hands, and for the first time it really strikes him. He's going to die. He's resisted medical attention and fought away help and now he really is going to die.

He can't believe what he's done, what he's planning to do.

Then he starts crying, too, the front of his shirt splattered with blood and tears and _fuck, I fucked up, I'm such a mess, look at me now, father-_

And to add insult to injury, Tony finds him there after a few minutes of heaving sobs. After all the shouting they've done at each other, after every cruel move Loki has made, Tony still crouches on the floor next to him and hugs him.

Loki hates it so much. He wants to twist Tony away, to snap his neck and do something awful to himself to make the compassion stop because he can't deal with it.

But then he realises Tony's crying too, and that this isn't empathy, this is Tony selfishly trying to comfort himself. And he can deal with that.

"I don't want to die," they both mumble at nearly the same time.

After they've gotten a hold of themselves, after the moment is forced away like it never happened, Loki wipes another palmful of blood off his face and says "Let's do this." In an instant, his harsh, lethal resolve is back in fighting force.

There's so much blood on their hands, both literally and figuratively, that a little more won't matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's over. It certainly was an interesting story to write, if not my most popular, haha.
> 
> The song that the title is from is 'I Can't Decide' by the Scissor Sisters.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading. Yes, it does end there, and no, there's no sequel. Any questions, go for it.


End file.
